Blind Hope
by Life-in-shadows
Summary: Bella has been home-schooled since an accident impaired her eyesight. But when she visits Charlie after years without him she's introduced to her first school, Forks high school. Blind to the world, Bella stumbles through life unaware of what lay ahead.
1. Adapting to reality

_Hello!_

_This is something else I've written, I hadn't come up with a name for it until a couple seconds before publishing it, but I thought the title relates to the story and it's alright for a quick decision._

_Anyway, I hope someone likes it. =D I have more on my laptop so if anyone does like it then they can leave a comment (review) and I'll put on a bit more. _

_In my opinion, I'm not excited about my own work and don't think my writing is as great as others on this website, but it'll be overwhelming to know someone likes it. XD _

_Summary: Bella has been home-schooled since an accident impaired her eyesight. But when she visits Charlie after years without him she's introduced to her first school, Forks high school. Blind to the world, Bella stumbles through life unaware of what lay ahead. _

_Enjoy!_

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_Blind Hope_

_Chapter 1 _

_Adapting to reality_

The light breeze on my face chilled my skin and sent mild shivers down my spine.

But I was content.

Chirping joyfully and singing songs in harmony, the birds in the sky danced, beating their wings to stay steadily afloat. Soft and soothing grass stoked the skin of my arms as I lay on the ground with my eyes closed. Water from the stream not too far from here gushed and crashed against rocks in their way.

The day seemed happy.

But I could only see the darkness from within my eyelids. I opened my eyes and nothing had changed. I sighed in sorrow, for knowing I could never see the world the way I heard it.

"Bella?" Charlie called, anxiously, from a distance.

I sat up slowly, "Yeah?"

"Bella," his voice was closer now, "you had me worried sick."

A wash of guilt engulfed me. "Sorry dad. I didn't mean to."

I jumped in shock when a pair of hands touched my shoulders. "Sorry," he apologised for scaring me.

"It's okay. I was the one saying sorry though, remember?" I tried to let my eyes settle on his, but not being able to see didn't help me-I didn't even know if I was facing the right direction; I could only be sure of where something is if there's noise. Not being able to see made my hearing intensify, so I found my way around by sounds around me, like a bat- I use echolocation.

"As long as you're okay now," he concluded, then added, "and you don't walk off again. Not without me. Deal?"

"Deal" mentally rolling my eyes.

"Alright. Now come on, let's get home, a storm's about to hit town," he said as a matter of fact.

I resisted the urge to sigh again. I wished I could see. To me it seemed like a nice day, when really there was a storm was brewing.

Charlie helped me to my feet and when I stumbled he caught me before I fell flat on my face. "You okay, bells?"

"I'm fine." I assured him and let him guide me, holding my arm firmly in case I tripped again.

"So, how you feeling about having to go to a new school tomorrow?" Charlie said out of the blue, something told me that he was still worried.

"Um...Good," I lied.

Charlie, knowing me to well to know when I was lying, contemplated. "Maybe this is a bad idea."

"No, I want to go to school. I'll be okay" I lied again.

He didn't buy it. "Bells, you won't know you're way around school. You don't need more reason to be tripping over desks and chairs more than you already do. And what if some mean boys decide to pick on you. You can be home schooled, Bells. It would put my mind at ease if you did." He spoke hopefully and full of anxiety, trying to get his point across.

I bit my lip. I didn't want Charlie to have anguish over my time at Forks High School. "You don't need to stress over me, Ch-Dad. Besides I can have someone take me around the school like you do at home." I regretted the words once I'd send them, of course he'd hold me to that.

We reached the car then, I knew because I heard the door open and Charlie helped me in. There was silence as I waited for him to speak and I was about to but I then realised, when the driver's side door opened, that he'd went around the car to get behind the wheel. "I know you can take care of yourself, Bells. You're nearly a grown up, but that doesn't mean I'll stop looking out for you."

His small awkwardness when he spoke made me feel awkward too. "I know, dad. But I'll be fine, really. You don't have to be concerned for me all the time. I'll be alright. They're not going to bite."

The sound of the police cruiser thrumming to life startled me slightly, but Charlie mustn't have noticed else he would have said 'sorry', just as he'd done with all the other things that took me off guard. "As soon as we get back home I'm ringing the school to ask if someone can help you get around campus," he said defensively.

I groaned "Dad, I'm blind not disabled. You don't need to do that, I'll be fine."

He ignored me and concentrated on driving.

Charlie had visited an old friend of his, Billy, before I walked off. The forest had called to me and I followed. Besides I wanted to be on my own to figure out my thoughts and torments of tomorrow, my first day at a new school.

As soon as we were home Charlie asked if I was okay and I told him to stop asking, nicely. I was on my way upstairs to my room when I heard Charlie pick the phone off the hock, dial a number and then speak into the receiver. I frowned, dreading the fact that I'd have someone dragging me around campus like they were my golden retriever.

My hands grazed the walls on both sides of me so I could tell when I reached my door. I found the handle and twisted it. The door swung open and I walked in to my room that was freezing. After stumbling to the window and shutting it, I fell exhausted on my bed.

Lost in my thoughts, it felt like minutes later that Charlie yelled from downstairs.

"You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, for the hundredth time, I'm fine."

"I've made dinner. Are you hungry?" I heaved myself up off the bed and down the stairs, carefully. He was stood waiting at the bottom because he called to me "do you need some help?"

The thud of footsteps as Charlie ascending the stairs to assist me, I held up a hand in protest. "No. I can do it. I'm not disabled."

He grumbled. "Be careful" his tone said he was expecting me to fall.

When I reached the bottom, after stumbling thinking there was another step and being supported from Charlie, I went into the kitchen. "You cooked?"

"Yep, I have been cooking for myself for a while now, Bells." He pointed out.

"Oh, right. Yeah," I said lamely. "What'd you make?" I sniffed the air and smelt meat.

"Lasagna, You like Lasagna right?" he asked cautious.

"Yeah, sure, that's cool." I said, thinking that I hadn't had it in a long time and hoping my taste for it hadn't changed so I wouldn't hurt Charlie's feelings.

To my relief I did like it. I munched it gratefully at the dinner table and I could hear Charlie sat opposite me shoveling his food. "Would you let me cook for you?"

Charlie seemed to hesitate, "If you know what you're doing, and you're careful."

"Charli-...Dad, you really can't baby me all through my life. I need some independence, to walk on my own feet without the fear of falling."

"No offense, Bells, but I'm sure that's not going to happen." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes. "And I thought you keep saying you're blind, not disabled. Although you probably _will_ be disabled with the rate of catastrophes that happen to find you, maybe you should get help with your walking, bells." He joked with a serious edge underneath.

I scowled in his general direction. "You know what I mean. I meant that I'm going to have to do things on my own now, else I'll never learn these things for the future."

Charlie was serious then, "You do have a point." It was quiet as he deliberated. "Alright, I'll give you your space." In my head I celebrated but that stopped suddenly with his next words. "But you're still having the help around Forks High."

I decided not to argue in fear that he'd take everything back.

We ate in peace, bringing up a random topic now and then so the atmosphere didn't get too still.

He finished before I did. As I scooped up the last of the food on my plate and shoved it in my mouth the plate was taken before I could myself. "Charlie?" I called, holding out my hand. His footsteps entered the room. "Independence?"

I felt something solid in my hand, the plate, and I rose from my seat and walked to the kitchen using Charlie's voice to help me.

"Sorry, Bells."

"Stop apologising. I'll wash up," I insisted.

He was going to rebel but I interrupted. "You said that you'd give me space and let me have freedom to learn all this before it's too late."

He grumbled, "Alright, then." The scrapping of wood when Charlie opened a draw was audible to me and made me bewildered. "Here" he said, pressing something rough and flimsy in my left hand, a tea towel.

"Thanks" I thanked wholeheartedly, glad that he was allowing me to do what I wanted to.

His retreating footsteps faded, I heard him flop on the sofa and turn the TV on to some sort of sports channel.

I worked slowly and noiselessly, savouring the fact that I had something to do. Fully engrossed with what I was doing kept my mind from wondering to pressing and annoying matters, like tomorrow.

But inevitably I had to deal with it sooner or later. Finishing up I dried my hands and then trailed my way to the living room. "I'm gonna go to bed soon, okay?"

"It's only seven thirty," he replied, in a slight trance by his programme but still aware that it was too early to sleep.

"Well I've got other stuff I need to do," I responded.

"Okay. Have fun," He said, as he returned his attention back to the TV.

* * *

Thanks everyone! =D Hope you like it.

There will be more when I get it off my laptop, which has died. =/ Not good. But I'll fix it soon.

And please review.


	2. Taking the blows

Hello all.

This, after a long time -I'm sorry- of waiting, is the second part to 'Blind hope'.

Hope you enjoy it. =D

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_Last couple of sentences from chapter 1:_

"I'm gonna go to bed soon, okay?"

"It's only seven thirty," he replied, in a slight trance by his programme but still aware that it was too early to sleep.

"Well I've got other stuff I need to do," I responded.

"Okay. Have fun," He said, as he returned his attention back to the TV.

* * *

_You know, sometimes it feels like God is punishing me_

I walked away, heading for the stairs, but wasn't paying full attention. There was a huge bang, loud enough for Charlie to hear even over the TV, when I walked straight into one of the walls.

"Ow." I moaned, rubbing my head where I banged it.

"Bella, you okay?" Charlie was out of his seat and placing his hand on my forehead in seconds.

"I'm fine, dad," Wincing when his hand ran over the sore spot on my head.

"This is the perfect example of why I want you to have someone help you around Forks high school," he spoke in a strong, parental voice.

"I'm getting to know this house is all. Back at phoenix I knew the house completely and I didn't have to worry about the walls. It was only the occasional chair or box in my way that Mum didn't tell me was there. After a few weeks here I should know this place like I did at Mum's." My persuasion was matched by the pain in my tone as my scalp ached.

"Forks high is going to be a new place too. Plus it's bigger, Bells. You're not budging me on this. It's already arranged anyway so there's no point in mopping about it. If I've got to keep my word, then so do you."

Mentally I groaned in defeat, "Fine." I turned and trudged up the stairs.

I wanted to slam my bedroom door like a child, but resisted the urge and let it swing shut when I reached my room. Roaming through my wardrobe for my pyjamas, I pulled out, what I hoped was, my favourite sleepwear clothes. I also grabbed my bag of toiletries and headed for the bathroom to have a shower. It took me a while to figure out where the shower was and how to turn it on, but I figured it out on my own, that was the main thing.

When I was done - refreshed and a little more relaxed than before- I got dressed. The top was big, and hung baggily off me. It had holes in it and I'd never known if they were supposed to be there or if I had accidently done something to cause it. Matching the top was trousers, baggy and comfortable. The only depressing thing about it was I'd never known what colour they were until my mother told me. Living back in Phoenix is easier than spending time in Forks, my mother would help me find the clothes I wanted in my dresser. I couldn't picture asking Charlie what I should wear and what looked nice, nor would I. Just a couple of months here then I'll be heading back to mum. Until then I'd just have to wear jeans and t-shirts to play it safe, and only ask Charlie if I wasn't accidently wearing my clothes inside out.

My mind was at bliss, matching pros with cons, as I made my way to my room once more and speedily laid out my clothes for tomorrow, not thinking of what I'd need them for.

At that moment I'd forgotten my problems, I was tranquil, and for the second time in one day I flopped on to my bed, pulling the covers around me.

What felt like minutes later, I was lost in a dream that was, at first, joyful then torturing.

I dreamt that I was in hospital, after undergoing a major surgery to restore my sight. Ragged material was wrapped around my head tightly, so tight I wanted to yank it off, but every time I tried my arms wouldn't move.

There was pain, a lot of it, even though I was sedated. The drugs did nothing for the pain; they just sent me to sleep. But in unconsciousness I could still hear voices around me, my mother, my father, Phil and other people I hadn't heard from in a while. Then there were voices I'd never heard before, the nurses, the doctors and other staff. Other sounds, the thrumming and buzzing noises from the machines, a women speaking on an intercom and the scurrying of footsteps.

The noises got louder and more defined, ringing in my ears and banging against my ear-drums.

Cold hands scrapped my face as they unwound the bandage off my head and away from my eyes.

A calm, sure voice of the doctor told me to open my eyes.

My eyelids fluttered open and I saw a world I didn't want to see. All the people around me had no faces, for I had never seen them before, I didn't know what they looked like. In all directions, faces were blurred into contorted and unnatural shapes.

The last thing I could recall from the dream was all the people encircling me, closing in.

I gasped myself awake and out of my nightmare. My hair was tangled and puffy, dangling over my eyes. I lay restless for a while, unable to shake off the dream, a dream I've experienced for years, that has recurred throughout my childhood.

When my breathing slowed to a normal pace and I'd convinced myself that no one was in the room with me, I slipped again into a sleep; Hoping that it would be soon that I had to wake up.

"Bella?" A tap on my shoulder, "Bella?" A shake of my arm; "Bella, wake up, you've got school today," he taunted.

"Great," I groaned sleepily. Charlie chuckled. "Thanks for waking me".

"Sure, no problem, Bells. You need anything else?"

"Umm...no, I don't think so. Oh, except, can you tell me what clothes I've put out to wear? I'm not sure..."

"What? That pile on the floor?"

I think that's where I put it. "That's the one."

"Urr...well...a pair of blue jeans...a grey t-shirt...and a brown jumper...I think that's what it is. Nice choice, I'm sure it'll look great" He said awkwardly.

"Thanks" I said, matching his tone.

I hadn't realised he was sat on the bed beside me until he got up and made the mattress spring back. "If there's anything else you need just shout, Bells," his tone still awkward.

"'kay".

The door banged shut after Charlie and echoed in the silence, leaving me alone.

Sluggishly, still half asleep from my troubled night, I dressed with the slightest of struggle with my jumper. When I was decent, dressed, my hair brushed and my school bag packed I joined Charlie in the kitchen for breakfast. It was silent as we ate and I didn't protest when Charlie washed up.

I brushed my teeth instead of complaining and readied myself for the day ahead. Keeping calm took all the effort in me.

"Bella? You don't want to be late on the first day, do you?" Charlie bellowed up the stairs.

"No. I'll be right down." I said, pulling my brush on the bathroom counter through my hair one last time before descending the flight of stairs to meet Charlie at the front door.

"Schoolbag..."he said handing it to me. "You ready?"

"Yes, I think so. Do I look okay?"

"Yeah, now let's go." He sounded eager to get me to school. I groaned, throwing the strap of my bag onto my shoulder.

He guided me to the police cruiser; I'd never tell him how embarrassing it'd be for me to arrive at school in the police car. Charlie being Charlie, over protective, helped me into the passenger seat.

"When was it that I stepped into a time machine and hurtled back a few years to the point where I can't be trusted to buckle my own seatbelt?" I asked.

There was no answer, so I let it drop. In no time, Charlie was behind the wheel and off down the road.

He had the nerve to ask me if I was excited about school.

"Oh, yeah," my tone dripped with sarcasm.

"Hey, if you don't want to go we can just go home and you can be homeschooled or something."

"No. It's what I want," I said stubbornly.

He was curious, "why?"

I took a deep breath, "well I've always been seen differently to everyone else, and I feel that going to a normal school will help me feel better; more human."

Charlie huffed, not wanting to argue, "Alright."

From then on we drove in silence.

* * *

Hope you like it.

I'm not very sure of it yet but hopefully it will get better. =D

Please review!


	3. Horrible Truth

Hello all!

Sorry about not updating in forever. And also a huge sorry for the quality of this chapter. I've basically shoved it all together because I felt guilty about not updating.

So here's a bit more of the story.

Enjoy! (Hopefully you do)

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Last couple of sentences

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"Oh, yeah," my tone dripped with sarcasm.

"Hey, if you don't want to go we can just go home and you can be home-schooled or something."

"No. It's what I want," I said stubbornly.

He was curious, "why?"

I took a deep breath, "well I've always been seen differently to everyone else, and I feel that going to a normal school will help me feel better. More human."

Charlie huffed, not wanting to argue. "Alright."

From then on we drove in silence.

* * *

Horrible Truth

I knew when we reached the school premisis because the car slowed down until it completely stopped.

"Don't argue with me, Bella, and don't get out on you're own because this is the only parking space left and if you get a scratch on the Volvo we're parked next to it's going to cost me an arm and a leg."

"Fine." Volvo? I really hoped that not all the kids where rich, and I hoped even more that no-one could see me.

Charlie came around to my side of the car and slid me out of the cruiser with a lot of discomfort on my part. The door of the cruiser slammed shut and I felt a hand on my arm pull me forward.

"Where are we going, may I ask?"

"The reception. I just want to see about that guide of yours." He sounded very parental and authoritive, as if he was at work.

"Dad," I moaned "really?"

"Yes, I'm not leaving you in the hands of just anybody. I know what teens are like."

I gave up with replying.

"Morning Chief," I heard a male voice call.

Charlie replied with a swift "Morning" still leading me to the reception.

After a couple of paces I asked, "who was that?"

I felt him shrug next to me, "some teen."

I gulped, "are there a lot of teenagers around?"

"Well we are in the parking lot at the start of a school day so yeah, there's a few people." He sounded evasive.

My throat went dry, "how many is a few?"

"I thought you wanted to come to school?" He threw back at me.

"That's neither here nor there. Stop trying to change the subject, how many people?" I frowned downwards, hoping anyone around me couldn't see the embarrassment on my face.

"About twenty, thirty maybe."

"Thirty?" The word was distraut and sounded like I was being strangled.

There was a small ring of a bell as if we'd walked into a shop and a gust of hot air engulf me.

"Hello, I'm wandering if you can help me. This is my daughter, Bella. I spoke to someone over the phone and told her she was coming." Again he sounded authoritive.

The voice that replied was high, chirpy, female and understanding. "That would be me, I think. Chief Swan?"

"Yes. That's me."

"Good. Yes, we've been expecting, Bella." All of a sudden she raised her voice, "HELLO, BELLA."

Her squeaky voice rang in my ears even after she'd finished shouting. "I'm blind, not deaf."

There was a tap on my arm from Charlie telling me to be more polite.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot," She said self-consciously. "How embarrassing."

"For you or for me?" I asked.

"Bella," Charlie snapped at me.

I sighed. "I'm really sorry. I'm just having a bad day," I apoligised in the girl's direction.

"It's okay," she laughed slightly. "What is it you want to know?"

Charlie spoke friendly and charismatically, "about the person who'll be showing Bella around campus?"

"Of course. She's very nice, very friendly and in almost all of Isabella's classes. You can meet her if you want, I can go and get her for you...if you like?," she added helpfully.

"That would be great." Charlie thanked her and when she'd left the room he turned to me. "What's wrong with you today?"

My eyelids slumped, sleepily. "Bad day."

"There's no need to be rude. You've already made a pretty awful first impression with the receptionist, I suggest you put on a happy face and be a bit nicer," Charlie lectured.

I agreed, not understanding fully why I'd behaved so impolitely. "So, what's the school like?"

I heard the ruffle of Charlie's uniform when he fidgeted, uncomfortable. "It's nice."

His words didn't seem truthful. We didn't say anything else until I heard the door open.

"Hello again," the receptionist trilled, "this is Jessica."

"Hi, nice to meet you." A new voice, quite high, slightly squeaky and an undertone of attitude.

"Yes. Nice to meet you too," Charlie said and I thought I heard them shake hands.

Then she addressed me. "Hello, I'm Jessica. You're Isabella, aren't you?" Her voice was patient.

"Bella," I corrected. "Yeah, that's me. It's nice to meet you, Jessica." A hand appeared in mine and I shook it.

"Well" the receptionist clapped her hands making me jump slightly,"Would you all like a tour of the school?"

Charlie seemed like he was dodging the bullet, "I wish I could but I've to be getting to work."

"Oh, alright then. Isabella, would you like a tour?" Asked the receptionist as if she were speaking to a child.

I wanted to tell her to call me Bella, but didn't see the point. I also didn't see the point of a tour if I couldn't see, but if it got me out of having to meet more people so soon..."sure."

"Jessica will show you around, won't you Jessica?"

"Sure," Jessica agreed.

Something touched my shoulder, Charlie's hand. "Alright, I'm off. Are you going to alright, Bells?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Dad." I mumbled quietly.

"Alright," the pressure from my shoulder disappeared, the door clicked shut and he was gone, leaving me with strangers.

"Okay then girls, off you go." The receptionist ushered us out the door and into the cold. My jumper didn't provide much protection against the freezing atmosphere.

As soon as the door had slammed shut, Jessica began talking much easier then before. "You know I've never really liked that women. Don't get me wrong, she's friendly and all but sometimes she can be really annoying."

I didn't know how to reply to that.

"So, do we walk around for a while or go and find somewhere to sit?" Jessica wondered aloud.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

She was silent for a moment, thinking. "Find somewhere to sit, and I've got just the place." She paused. "How am I supposed to...umm...lead you there?"

Her unsurity made me want to smile. "You don't have to pull me around if you don't want to. If you talk I'll follow the sound of your voice; Though I'd appreciate it if you told me if I'm about to walk into something or there's something I could trip on."

"Fair enough." She said, then without warning she started firing questions at me and talking about people I'd never heard of. I began walking after her and answering her questions as simply as possible, some were easy, others were harder.

"I lost my eyesight at a y-young age. There was an accident. I-I don't like to talk about it," I stuttered under pressure.

"It's okay, you don't have to." Jessica patted my back in reassurance but a part of her voice told me that she wanted to know all the details.

"Thanks."

More questions were thrown at me and I answered them as best as I could.

Following the sound of Jessica's voice was easy, because she didn't stop talking.

She was so engaged in what she was saying that she forgot that I couldn't see, and didn't tell me about the bench I was headed for.

"Ow!" I bounced up and down, rubbing my sore knee.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." A hand on my shoulder, "are you okay?"

"Yeah." That hurt.

"Well, this is it. Do you want to sit down?"

I smiled. "Sure."

The hand on my shoulder moved to my elbow and ushered me to the bench I'd just whacked my leg on.

The rustle of fabric as she sat down next to me and the sound of her fidgeting uncomfortably was loud in the emptiness. ""I really am sorry."

I gave a reassuring smile, "Don't worry. It happens all the time, I'm used to it."

A pause, then, "Well, what made you come here? To forks High I mean?"

The question was unexpected that I found myself saying, "I just want to fit in."

Another pause, much longer this time though. "You didn't fit in back at your old school?" Her voice was awkward and her pace slow, as if she was wording her question with care.

I laughed once without humour. "I wouldn't call it a school. The only kind of teaching I have ever had was from hospitals and homeschooling."

"Hospitals?"

"Yeah. They helped me learn how to use my other senses. I really depend on them. If I were to lose my hearing too, I don't know what I'd do."

"It must be really hard for you."

"It was. I'm used to being blind now though, I just needed time to adjust…" My voice faded out.

"Did your family take it hard?"

I started to think that she was digging from information, or was I overreacting. She is probably just being friendly, have I lost trust in all of humanity? For some odd reason I felt like I could trust her to keep my secrets. "That's why my parents are divorced. All I remember from that day was I was at home with my dad, my mum was at work, and my dad got a call. There was an emergency and he had to go to the station so he hired a babysitter to look after me. He'd just sit and watch the TV and whenever I asked to do something he just told me to 'get lost'."

"Boys," she interjected sourly.

I smiled slightly. "So I went and sat in the garden. This was in phoenix, it's always sunny there, and I just waited for my parents to come home. I watched the sea. Then I heard the guy shouting at me to get in the house, so I ran back and… I didn't realise the glass door was shut and…I ran straight into it and it smashed. Apparently, when I got to the hospital there were loads of small shards of glass in my eyes, I only remember not being able to see or blink. That's what caused me to go blind. My mum blamed my dad, my dad blamed the babysitter and in the end my parents divorced and trying suing the boy. I haven't visited my dad in years cause my mum hasn't been able to trust him. Both of them have been trying to find me a donor and when the possibility of one being in forks came then my parents were ecstatic. My mum wanted to come to forks with me because she didn't want me to go by myself, more like she didn't want to leave alone with my safety hazard father. "

The longest pause throughout the whole conversation, "Sound's like you've had a really hard life."

I huffed, "it hasn't been the easiest." Silence again, I was starting to feel guilty for turning our conversation into a depressing one. "I'm sorry for the huge 'mood kill'. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No. I'm glad you trusted me with that." She sounded happy and flattered that I'd shared my secret.

"Let's talk about something else. Something happy."

"Well, actually, there's going to be a break from lessons soon so if you want to we can go somewhere else or stay here, it all depends on if you want a load of people talking to you at once, because they'll probably bombard you with questions. And you also have the choice of whether we go to class after the break or not."

I hate having to make decisions, especially snap decisions or decisions dumped on me without warning. "Umm… Sure. Better get it over and done with. What-I mean-What lesson do we have?" I stuttered to my sheer embarrassment.

"Urh…I don't know, Biology? Something like that. Don't worry, we'll find out." She laughed slightly.

I gave her a smile when inside I fighting the urge to run screaming. In a few minutes I'd have my first lesson in a school in my whole life.

* * *

Please review and tell me if you like this. I have a faint idea about this story. This chapter got away from me, I can't really remember what I wrote so...Sorry. lol.

But I hope you liked it.

Thanks to all reviewers! You really make my day.

Review please!


	4. Playing the part

Hello everyone.

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've had so much work to do. =/ But, I know how it is when you read a story and you want to know what happens next and you're unsure when they're going to update. that's why I try to update as often as possible. That's one reason why I wrote this, the other reason is because I want to know what happens myself :P and know where the story is headed.

I hope you like it, and I haven't annoyed you with my rambling on.

=D

Enjoy!

Last couple of lines:

I huffed, "it hasn't been the easiest." Silence again, I was starting to feel guilty for turning our conversation into a depressing one. "I'm sorry for the huge 'mood kill'. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No. I'm glad you trusted me with that." She sounded happy and flattered that I'd shared my secret.

"Lets talk about something else. Something happy."

"Well, actually, it's going to be lunch soon so if you want to we can go somewhere else or stay here, it all depends on if you want a load of people talking to you at once, because they'll probably bombard you with questions. And you also have the choice of whether we go to class after the break or not."

I hate having to make decisions, especially snap decisions or decisions dumped on me without warning. "Umm… Sure. Better get it over and done with. W-what-I mean-What lesson do we have?" I stuttered to my sheer embarrassment.

"Urh…I don't know, Biology? Something like that. Don't worry, we'll find out." She laughed slightly and began to lead me to the cafeteria.

I gave her a smile when inside I fighting the urge to run screaming. In a few minutes I'd have my first lesson in a school in my whole life.

* * *

Playing the part

I stumbled beside Jessica, who hand a firm grip on my elbow. She led me, careful to warn me about steps or obstacles in my way. The bell rang for us to go to our class, I jumped slightly but was thankful that Jessica didn't notice…or she just didn't want to say.

"There are steps here, okay?" she cautioned.

I hesitated. "Um, up or down?"

"Oh," she laughed in understanding as if she had waited for me to explain why I had stopped. "They're going up."

I smiled for her benefit, "Okay."

Lifting my feet high into the air to make sure I didn't catch the toe of my shoes on the steps.

"This is the last step. Okay?" she asked when we reached the top.

"Yeah, I'm fine. How much further is it to class?" I frilled at the last word.

A hand tugged on my elbow, guiding forward again. "Just down this hallway, you sure you're okay?"

"Yes."

A small pause, "you look scared to death."

One side of my mouth raised in a lopsided smile, "I am."

She pulled me to a stop and the hand that was on my elbow moved to pat my shoulder. "Don't be. They're not going to bite."

I took a deep breath before saying, "Alright. Is everyone already in there?"

"Yeah, are you ready?" Her voice sounded both anxious and concerned. I could hear her hand on a doorknob that shook loosely. My heart raced.

The fabric of my trousers scrapping together as I shifted my weight nervously was audible to me, but I wasn't sure if Jessica could sense my feelings. "Sure."

The door hinge squeaked slightly as the door slid open. Jessica's hand found my elbow again. "Mr Banner?"

Chair legs scrapping across the floor, a pen tapping on a surface, books being slammed on a table, a small shocked intake of breath, all these small sounds were loud to me. I clicked my fingers repeatedly, measuring the size of the room with echolocation. I got a feel of the room and furniture; the desks were packed together, I just wished I don't trip and make a fool out of myself.

"This is Bella, the new girl," Jessica continued.

A shuffle of papers later, "Ah yes, yes, Bella _Swan_, is it?"

I wasn't sure if the question was aimed at me or not, I opened my mouth to answer but Jessica beat me. "Yes, it is."

"So, Bella," addressing me personally. "Here are your books; your father said you can read brail?" Mr Banner sounded a little impressed.

I hung my head, embarrassed, "Yeah."

"Well, here you go." He pressed the books into the crook of my arm. "There's only one seat left. Just sit down and listen, we'll go over what we've just done so you can catch up."

"Thanks," I said in his direction, and then Jessica was pulling me to my seat. Halfway to my seat she stopped for a second, but carried on too quickly for me to ask what was wrong.

Once sat down I felt a strange wave of hostility.

Jessica still hovered over me, "you'll be alright, right?"

Sounds next to me, the sound of someone scooting over on their stool, sharp panting breathes and teeth clenching together made me wince.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Why?" I needed her to tell me what my sight couldn't.

Painful silence for a couple seconds, there was no breathing on my left now. _Why? What was I missing?_ Then when Jessica spoke, she sounded breathless and evasive, "Nothing. I'll see you after class." Her retreating footsteps were quicker then normal. My heart hammered again and I could feel my cheeks burning a bright red.

A small, nearly silent, gravelly groan, to my left. No, not a groan, it seemed more like a growl then anything else. Shivers went down my spine as the noise fully registered in my head.

Instinctively, I checked my actions to see if I was the cause of the person's distress, but I couldn't find anything. I sniffed my hair, it smelled like my usual strawberry shampoo. My cheeks burned brighter, what could have happened that I missed to have disturbed him?

After assessing my posture, I marvelled over the low groan I'd heard; it was saturated in annoyance and obviously a male's voice.

For a brief second, I wondered whether I should introduce myself or at least make small talk, but after some thought I banished the thought. If he wanted to talk to me, he would have done it already.

His silence should have irritated me but it didn't, as I still couldn't shake the feeling of being unwanted. It was as if the air had grown thick and was trying to force to my feet and sweep me from the room.

I wasn't irritated by his lack of conversation, instead I was extremely grateful. Everyone from town had been insistent on uncovering who I am and everything about me that just a little bit of time to myself, to clear my head, was a mercy. I had so much going on, so much to worry over.

Before Mr Banner started the lesson, I wondered on how my mother was doing, _was she having fun? Did she miss me as I missed her?_ I hoped that she didn't think I was in incapable hands, staying here with Charlie, and I hoped that Phil was keeping her entertained so that her thoughts wouldn't stray to me too much. I prayed I wasn't any burden to Charlie and that life in Forks would get better.

But I couldn't focus on how life could get better in Forks. Can anyone blame me? Shear hatred engulfed me in waves, and I was sure it was from the boy next to me. I'm glad I hadn't eaten anything at lunch else I would've brought it back up under the pressure. My mother didn't make it long in this town, will I? How could I like a town that treated me like in outcast, a pariah?

But…

_Was I making this up? Was I evaluating things too deeply? Was I _losing_ it?_

I don't know what to think anymore.

Then Mr Banner began his lecture as I fought the probing stares I could feel on me now and then from the rest of the class. I paid as much attention as I could muster to the teacher rather then the now inaudible boy that sat rigidly next to me.

The bell was my life jacket, saving me from drowning in the thick, compressing air.

A gush of wind whipped past me as the boy on my left darted from the room. It was almost impossible to hear his footsteps as he slipped out of the room, effortlessly rapid.

I sighed, as the air grew thin in his absence, and I started packing my books away into my rucksack.

A friendly male voice, "Hi. You're Isabella, right?"

"Bella," I corrected, turning toward him, biting my lip timidly.

"Hey, I'm Mike Newton." He took my hand from my side and shook it. "So, what class do you have next?"

"Well, I don't really know." I murmured as I searched blindly through my back for my timetable; luckily, the school had found a way to make that brail too. My fingers glided over the page for a moment. "I have gym." I groaned internally. _Could it get any worse?_

When he replied, he sounded please, "That's where I'm going. I have gym too. Do you want to walk with me?"

"Um." I thought about this for a while, _was Jessica coming to get me? Should I wait to see?_ I was conscious to the fact that I'd taken a long time processing my thoughts and without wanting to look even more like a fool I agreed. Thanking him before I forgot to.

"It's alright, really." His tone was as if he was holding back a question, but I guess curiosity bubbled over because he asked it anyway. "How do you do that? The whole, reading brail thing?" His questioned came out awkwardly as if he was uncomfortable asking it.

I smiled half-heartedly, "a lot, and a lot, of practice."

I heard his low chuckle from beside me.

"So-um-well…" He paused, unsure.

"Yeah…?" I asked tentatively.

"Well, how do I-like- lead you?"

"Oh," I breathed. "Well, it's your choice. You can either pull me around by the wrist, or my fore-arm or, like Jessica, she uses my elbow." I gestured to the places on my arm as I spoke.

"Oh, alright then," Mike answered slowly and I felt a pressure on my wrist.

We walked, hushed for a minute or so, until Mike broke the unpleasant stillness.

"So did you stab Cullen with a pencil, or something?" He asked genuinely bemused and amazed if it were true.

"What?" I snapped slightly, appalled that someone would even think that I'd do something like that.

"Did you stab him?" He repeated.

"I don't even know who you're on about, so no," I said, slightly calmer now.

"Well, you sat next to him for an hour," he said as matter of fact.

"Who was it?"

"Edward Cullen. He's a right whack job." He said in disgust then thought for a moment, "He didn't talk to you at all?" Was I the only one that heard the slight glint of hope in his tone?

I just shook my head, the way he said it made me feel like the first person he has ever avoided.

"And why did you think I'd stabbed him?" Getting more confused by every answer.

"He never normally acts like that," he paused and then laughed slightly, "mind you, him and his family aren't really normal."

I was definitely getting more bewildered. "I don't get what you mean," I admitted.

He seemed to pick his words carefully, "well, they're so…different; in every way. They look different, they act different and they keep to themselves a lot. I mean, they'll talk to you if they have to but other then that they just blank everyone."

My mind was a couple steps slower and I didn't have time to record everything he said in my head before he came to a halt.

"The girls changing room is in there, though this door." He lifted my wrist and stretched my arm put till my limp hand touched a cold, metal door handle. "The boy's is around the back of the building. We'll be in the same lesson though and, if you like, I could come and meet you out here afterwards."

He didn't really give me a choice, so I answered, "Sure."

"Great," it sounded like he was smiling. "I'll see you in a minute then."

"Okay," I called as I heard him jog away.

I braced myself before I walked indoors; I took three deep breaths and prepared myself for the massacre that was looming ahead. When I _did_ go inside, I found a corner and changed quickly. I followed the stream of girls by the thud of their feet hitting the ground, tying my hair back and out of my face as I trailed behind.

When the footsteps stopped I did too, and after a brief talk from the coach, everyone was ordered to assign themselves partners.

I was both blessed and completely unfortunate when Mike offered to be my partner.

"You don't have to do this." I tried warning him about my balance and how the fact that I was blind just made it all that much worse, but every time I tired to change his mind he'd just laugh and say things like 'don't worry' or 'it'll be fine, trust me'. It wasn't him that I didn't trust, it was my equilibrium. In the end, I gave up, "Fine, but remember I did warn you. You brought this on your self. And remember I apologised in advance."

"You make it seem like a simple gym class is the end of the world," he laughed.

"Well you've never had gym with _me_ before," I said in all seriousness, which only made him laugh harder.

It was worse then I thought. We had basketball and I could tell Mike was trying to help me out by clapping his hands and calling to me, making noise so I knew where to throw the ball, but after an attempt and hitting him on the forehead, I called defeat.

"I'm so sorry," I apologised again, the hundredth time.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," he still seemed to be in pain.

I cringed, "does it still hurt?"

He chuckled, but it only seemed that he did it to make him appear tough, to laugh off the pain. "It'll stop hurting in a minute," he murmured honestly.

I winced, "I'm really, _really _sorry."

"Forget about it. Hey, I'll see you outside, right?" his tone perked up at that so I took the opportunity to make him feel better.

"Yeah," then I tried to lighten the mood, "if I can find my way."

I never was good with jokes, he laughed once, said "goodbye for now" and trotted away.

I dressed much slower this time, not rushing any movement. When I finished I found my way outside. Mike was already there, because his voice came out of nowhere and made me jump.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you."

"Its fine," but my heart hadn't slowed tempo, it pounded frantically in my chest.

A hand encircling my wrist, "come on."

Mike led me to the parking lot like a Labrador out for a walk.

I don't know what it was but he was starting to really annoy me. He was almost becoming too…_confident_ around me. In addition, some of his words as we made small talk, zigzagging through parked cars in the lot, were too possessive to be of a friendly nature. Now and then when he rambled on I lost myself in different trains of thought. Then one thought hit me hard. _Where were we going?_

We stopped then and I heard a voice as familiar as it was unexpected.

"How was your first day then, Bells?" the voice asked.

I gaped, "Dad?"

"Yep, it's me. I see you've made a friend already." His voice filled with authority again.

I flushed slightly but rolled my eyes, retracting my arm from Mike's grip.

"Afternoon, Chief Swan" Mike said formally. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again.

"Nice to see you again, Mike. So you meet my daughter then, eh?"

I resisted the stronger urge to groan and walk off, stamping my feet like a child.

"Yes, Sir," he sounded at a loss for words, not knowing what to say over then that.

I broke the uncomfortable silence, "I'm ready to go home now." I tired to hide my urgent need to get away from here.

"Alright," Charlie clapped once, rubbing is cold hands together then I heard the sound of a car door opening.

I distantly heard Mike shout, "I'll see you tomorrow", as Charlie helped me into the car and shut my door. When he got into his own seat and started the engine, he began asking how my day went. Whom else I'd met and what I'd done.

"I can't remember most of the people, I've forgotten their names."

"Oh, well, you'll see them tomorrow."

"No, I won't," I joked.

He seemed to think over his words then huffed in fake tiredness. "I didn't mean it like that. You'll hear from them tomorrow is probably better isn't it."

"Yeah, that would have worked much better."

The atmosphere turned serious then and I felt that there was something being left out, being kept quiet.

"What?"

A long breath out of his nose, then "I'll tell you at home, when I've cooked dinner."

"Why can't I cook?" I offered.

He scoffed, "I need something to do now and then. I'll cook tonight, don't worry about it."

I pursed my lips, considering this.

It was silent then, all the way through the evening. When we got home, he made dinner with the occasional moan from me about not having the freedom he'd promised. It was all silent up until dinner and I brought the subject up immediately, anxious to know what was going on.

"So, what didn't you tell me in the car?"

"I thought it would be best to tell you over dinner," he said to himself, almost absently, shovelling a fork filled with food in his mouth.

I played with spaghetti on a plate in front of me, twisting and untwisting it on my fork. "So, what is it?"

In spite of himself, he paused and took a few shallow breaths of air before rushing the words. "As you know me and your mother have been looking for a donor for you for ever. And, well, the hospital rang the other day and said that they do, and that any day now you can have an operation to restore your sight." The way he said it made it seem like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Of course, I knew my parents had been searching for a donor; in my childhood that was nearly all I heard from either of them most of the time.

"Oh," was all I could think of.

"Oh?"

"It's great news, really it is. I'm just glad that I've got time to prepare myself."

"I understand." Though he'd never fully understand. "I just hope that nothing goes wrong."

Faintly panicked, "something can go wrong?"

"Oh, no!" He said hastily, "Not in the way you're thinking. I meant I hope that everything is still okay with the donor when you've had enough time to prepare yourself."

"Right," I sighed. "I should have known."

"Are you happy, then?" Charlie mumbled.

My mouth twitched. I was sure my parents were over the moon, me on the other hand was so scared I wanted to curl into a ball and huddle in a corner. Though the real question was, _did I _want _my sight back?_

I didn't know what my answer was anymore.

"Happy?"

Next moment I knew, Charlie asked me the question I wanted to know the answer to myself. "Is this what you want, Bella?"

_Do I?_

I found myself saying, "Yes." _But I'm scared_, I wanted to add, but I didn't want him to fret over me.

I could sense the question that hung in the air, being unspoken, _what's the problem then?_

I'm glad the question wasn't aloud.

"Alright," Charlie huffed as he got up. Clanging of his plate as he picked it up, then mine and he headed to the kitchen. I couldn't find the effort within me to argue when he washed up. Instead, I got up, passed the kitchen door calling "I'm going to do my homework" behind me and trudged slowly and carefully up the stairs.

All the school could really set me for homework was to read and catch up with everyone in the class. But, as I sat in my room and traced my fingers over the bumps in my workbooks, I realised I'd done all this work before back in Phoenix.

I sighed heavily, then cast my books aside, next to an outdated computer on the desk near my bed and then flopped onto my bed, exhausted.

I relaxed for a minute, taking pleasure in the time where I could let my mind go blank.

After a while though I got up, getting dressed and brushing my teeth. When I was finished in the bathroom I shouted down from the top of the stairs, "Good night, Dad."

Feeling my way back to my room, I heard a small "Night Bells" from downstairs, which made me smile.

Once I found my room I all but ran to my bed and welcomed sleep. I was intent on erasing all thoughts from my mind again; to not think about how different Forks was from Phoenix, or how my mother must be worrying… or how I was on the waiting list for having my eyes replaced.

Allowing no worry or fear to enter my head, I closed my eyes and wordlessly prayed that tomorrow would have a brighter outlet.

* * *

Well, please tell me what you thought.

Did you like it?

Love it?

Hate it?

Either one, I'm happy to hear from.

Sorry but all this ^ randomness, I'm tired which is making me hyper which is making me even more tired.

=D

Review!


	5. Living and lying

Hello all.

So sorry that it's been forever!

I'm going to keep this as short and as sweet as possible. Though I do need to say that this part of the story was a bit rushed. I made myself a promise that I'd update, somewhat, regually. So far I haven't been able to keep my promise.

But I hope you like it! I'd like to hear what you think of it to, good or bad.

* * *

Living and lying

Weeks past in a boring blur of voices and classes and was becoming very…predictable; everything was becoming a dull routine. I grew to know Jessica and the friends she hung around with; I had also starting to link names to voices. Two names I already knew was Jessica and Mike- I was thankful that they were in the same group of friends- but I also met two girls, Angela and Lauren, and three more boys, Tyler, Eric and Conner.

Classes were easy; most of the topics taught here at Forks high were already explained to me back in my previous school in Phoenix. Every lesson was simple and normal though, the same as it was from the first day, except one class…

Biology.

I sat on my assigned desk alone. The boy, Edward, that was supposed to be next to me was completely absent, and had been ever since the first class. In the beginning, I thought he'd switched his timetable, moved class or something, but Jessica told me he hadn't been in at all. I grew suspicious in his absence. _Was he ill? Would that explain his reaction that day? When he seemed in distress?_

It had been weeks and I started to surrender, giving up on curiosity, so it really surprised me when one day he turned up without warning.

I was mindlessly scribbling in the back of my notebook when the door opened after the bell had rang five minutes before. Footsteps, growing closer and louder, slowly making their way across the room. The stool next to me scrapped across the floor. I was too shocked to carrying on drawing, instead I listened to the teacher who had started talking, ignoring the stillness of the boy on my left. _What was his excuse for not arriving to any of the classes? Where has he been?_

Mr Banner explained our task. We had an experiment of depicting the variations of mitosis and meiosis, my stomach tightened. Being sat beside this boy must make him my lab partner, and not only would it be awkward but it would also be difficult trying to tell which slide is anaphase or metaphase or whatever when I can't even see.

I sighed and waited a moment, then felt my hand over the desk to find the equipment.

A low voice, quiet and musical, I had not heard before sounded abruptly, "Hello."

I froze bewildered and entranced. The voice was so soft and smooth, entirely unexpected. Unwillingly I tilted my head to left slightly, keeping my eyes on the table, not like that mattered- I just didn't like people looking at my eyes that couldn't see them in return.

_Was I right? Did the angelic voice come from the boy next to me?_

"My name is Edward Cullen" he continued, "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan?"

My mind was caught in a world-wind, it left me bewildered and one step behind. _Had I imagined all of it? He seemed fine and perfectly polite now._ I couldn't think of anything conversational, but I had to speak, he was waiting.

"H-how do you know my name?" I stammered to my shear embarrassment.

He laughed a soft, enchanting laugh. I revelled in the sound.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."

I grimaced, knowing that probably wasn't too far from the truth. "No," I persisted stupidly. "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

His voice confused, "do you prefer Isabella?"

"No, I like Bella." I rambled, knowing I should stop but not being able to. "But I think Charlie- I mean my dad- must call me Isabella behind my back- that's what most of the people here know me as," I explained, feeling like an utter moron.

"Oh." He said, ending the conversation.

I turned away and hid my face as my cheeks burned bright red.

Mr Banner ordered us to start.

Quickly, seizing the opportunity to save myself from more extreme humiliation, I twisted towards Edward. "How about I set the equipment up and you say what the slides are?"

"Sure."

"Okay," I said, grabbing the microscope and searching for the slides. After a few moments, I sighed, "Um, little help?"

Edward's laugh sounded like bells chiming and I gawked, dazzled.

Clinking of glass on glass, "slide one," he said with a smile in his voice. The glass pressed lightly into my palm along with something smooth and cold.

_His hand?_

It wasn't the coldness that made me yank my hand away, though it startled me it did not enough to entertain that reaction. It wasn't the cold but the electric pulse that prickled my fingers and shot up my arm, like a static shock without pain.

"Sorry," I apologised quickly, shoving the slide in place and pushing the microscope over to him.

"Prophase," he said almost inaudibly to himself.

I teased, wanting to lighten the mood, "you sure? Because I can't check."

He chuckled once, "you don't trust me?"

"Should I trust you?" I twisted his question and asked it back at him with a playful smile.

Edward was suddenly serious, "that's a good question." My smile disappeared.

I bit my lip, reassessing my words for what could have triggered his mood change.

"Next slide?" He asked, ill at ease again.

Slowly I took a deep breath before holding out my hand.

I may have just been over thinking it but it seemed that he was purposely being careful to keep his skin from making any contact with mine. I shrugged the inquisition off.

We carried on like this, speaking one or two words at a time, until we had nothing else to do. The rest of the class were still struggling with identifying the slides. I could distantly hear Mike and his partner arguing over one of them and I smiled, thankful that Edward and I were the first to finish. While I had time for my thoughts, I lost myself in the idea of being able to see after years of adapting to a world of darkness. Unwilling myself to think of the operation itself, I thought of what it would be like and what would be the first thing I'd want to see.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Edward asked. I got the impression that he was forcing himself to make small talk and the recent snowfall, having melted with the rain that was now falling and pounding on the roof of the building, seemed like the perfect subject.

"Not really," I answered honestly, not bothering to appear normal. I tried to dislodge the feeling of suspicion and the unexpected sensation of feeling like one of the slides being put under the microscope to be investigated.

"You don't like the cold." It wasn't a question.

"Or the wet," I added.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," he mused.

"You have no idea," I said darkly. Being treated like an outcast and being completely alienated wasn't exactly my idea of an ideal place.

"Why did you come here, then?"

No one had asked me that- not straight out like he did, demanding.

"It's…complicated."

"I think I can keep up," he pressed.

I paused for a moment and wished I could have seen his face, to see the emotion there. Notes and tones in your voice is one thing but seeing the expression on your face is something different entirely. "My mother wanted to travel with Phil," I realised he didn't know who Phil was, so I added, "she's just remarried and I didn't want to get in the way. I hadn't seen Charlie in years so I persuaded her to let me stay here for a while." I frowned, hanging my head so he couldn't have seen it.

"When did she remarry?" he asked, sympathetic.

"Last September," my voice sounded sad, even to my ears.

"And you don't like him" Edward guessed, his tone still kind.

"No, Phil is fine. Too young, maybe, but nice enough," I sighed. "It's just…just…"

"Just?" he urged in the softest tone possible.

I chewed my lip, nervously, deciding I'd tell him one secret. He could have that much. "I just wished she didn't worry about me and that she'd trust Charlie a little more."

"Why does she not trust your father?" Edward was beseeching but I felt like I'd given too much away as it was. Though I did extend the same information to Jessica, _she_ didn't ignore me then disappear without a trace.

After a second of hesitation, I gave in, "Because he was supposed to be watching me, but he got called to the station and that's the day I had my…accident, and lost my vision." My unseeing eyes prickled and welled up but I blinked back the tears.

"And she blames your father for it," he confirmed.

I blinked a few more times, to be sure the tears that betrayed me were gone before angling my face towards him, "Entirely." My intake of breath was shaky from holding back the need to cry, "She forgets how it was my fault. In her mind, she can only see the 'incompetence' Charlie is," I made little air quotes with my fingers. Then I shook my head, hopelessly, "She isn't going to change her mind, heck I've been trying to change her mind for nearly eleven years and I can't get through to her."

What was also painfully aggravating about not being able to see was when someone was silent; I didn't know what was going through their mind.

Quiet for three seconds, all I could hear was the chatting from the rest of the class, and then Edward said, "Anyone can change her mind, it's just mind over matter." He sounded determined, as if it wasn't my mother he was truly talking about.

Raising my shoulders in a shrug, I stayed there curled over the desk scared about being seen as a total idiot. "I guess anyone can," a sigh. "But I don't think she will."

"The future can always change," he murmured distantly, his thoughts somewhere else.

His remark didn't seem aimed at me so I put my head in my hands and waited until Mr Banner began speaking again. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long.

After five minutes of listening to Mr Banner's lecture, the bell rang.

A surge of wind whipping past me as Edward all but darted from the room again, just like before. His pace was quick and soft, gracefully fluid as I listened in astonishment.

The door of the classroom opened and his footsteps faded further away, until he was out of my hearing range.

I found myself in the unsettling position of haven given too much information about myself away to a complete stranger; my earlier compromise of letting him know _one_ of my worries had been thrown out the window. Whether it was the shock of his sudden politeness, I didn't know, but something in the pit of my stomach told me to trust him.

Though what did I really know without seeing him, to confirm my thoughts of him, _was he really just mocking me?_

Hanging my head to hide the betrayal and self-loathing, I gathered up my stuff and trotted as quickly as possible out of the room without tripping over something in my path. Once I got outside, I began thinking, _maybe Forks had been a bad idea. Charlie didn't need me burdening him and Renee was suffering from anxiety attacks every second I was gone._ I had talked to her the other day on the phone, she seemed troubled and I could only link it to my departure. Other then that she said she was having a blast, so _why can't my life be that easy?_ _Why can't I have fun now and then instead of worrying about everything? Why did I have so much to worry about?_

"Bella?" Jessica's voice reached me immediately.

"Jessica?" I breathed trying to hide my mini heart attack.

"Bella, where are you going? Gym is this way," she said pulling my arm in the opposite direction I was walking in.

"Oh, right." I said blushing; I'd been becoming deep in thought and wasn't concentrating. Though I didn't really need a good excuse as to why I was going the wrong way, anyone could've worked out how I might've gotten lost, I always do.

"So, how was Biology?" Jess asked, she seemed very curious.

The brush of my hair on my cheeks as I hung my head made it easier to lie, because I knew she wouldn't have been able to read the lie on my face. "Biology was fine."

She slowed her pace, either from surprise or we were nearly to the gym, I wasn't sure until she demanded, "What happened?"

However, not seeing my face wasn't enough. I was an awful liar. Of course, she heard it in my voice. "Nothing," I lied again.

"Come on, Bella. You can tell me?"

"There's nothing to say," I defended. "Really, don't worry."

Jessica huffed, "Alright then. Come on" she said with a tug on my wrist, "we're late for class."

Aside unintentionally irritating Jessica, I recalled Gym was the lesson I had to injure after Biology.

I began questioning, _which lesson is worse, biology or gym?_

The thoughts and feelings when I'd been cooped up in the biology lab next to the unresponsive Edward came rushing back to in an instant. Before I wouldn't have needed to ask myself the question, and not only because biology had been one of my preferred subjects.

Why I'd let a boy influence and change my judgment upon many things would beyond me, but every time I said to myself _I'll just forget it_ made a question pop into the back of my head that would shake me to my core and sprout more questions to pounder over.

I tried to not think altogether.

Jessica wasn't trying to make conversation as we walked, but now and then she'd think of something or she'd see something that made her fire off a ramble of chatter, about stories from her past or gossip she'd heard or her opinion of a girl recent hair cut. As much as she was in a mood with me, she couldn't help herself remaining silent; There would always be something that sparks a conversation in her. I nodded along.

Jessica dropped me off and headed for her own class. Unnervingly I dressed into my shorts and baggy t-shirt, having spent ages rummaging through my bag to find them, and joined the rest of the students in the gymnasium. Basketball again, but the coach had promised that next time we would be moving on to a different sport, though not having decided which one yet. I prayed for some sort of miracle sport that provided no moving and no need to see, which had basically ruled out every sport imaginable.

Mike was his normal, friendly self, assisting me but when the teacher wasn't watching he'd talk to me feverishly. Even Mike's kindness didn't sweeten the bitterness of Gym, I was still overwhelmingly thankful again when the bell rang. I was in dire desperation to get home; everyone was, at this point of the day.

Mike lead me to the parking lot like routine after we'd changed back to our ordinary clothes. Charlie was already there, waiting.

The embarrassment, I realised, wasn't dimming over time; If anything, it was magnified.

Mike had said goodbye to me as I hopped in Charlie's police cruiser.

"Bye," I replied as Charlie started the engine and drove away.

As we weaved through traffic, I noticed Charlie tenseness. It was beginning to scare me but whenever I questioned him, he'd just insist that nothing was wrong.

When we arrived home, I went straight to my room to finish my homework. With homework out of the way, I flittered to my wardrobe retrieving my toilettes and had a shower.

As I finished, about to step out of the bath, I remembered my parent's nervous voices telling me when I was thirteen, "Be careful next time, love;" From when they'd heard a misplaced bang, me having slipped and whacked my head on the sink with tremendous force.

Charlie had cooked dinner again and I decided to announce my growing anxiety.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," too innocently.

I frowned at him, "Don't lie."

He sighed, "It's nothing you need worry about."

To me it sounded like he was going to say: 'it's nothing you need worry about _yet_. "Too late, now tell me."

Charlie grumbled from across the table. I heard him place another bite of food is his mouth, chew and swallow before he continued, hesitantly. "Your mother and I thought it best to keep it from you a little while longer, until everything was arranged, but…"

I was frozen on the edge of my seat, "But?"

He drummed his fingers on the table five times, then said, "The hospital in phoenix called your mother six months back, we just haven't found it in us to tell you. There never was the best time…"

Dread filled me at what he said. I didn't know how to reply, when my head started to build sentences in my head I'd open my mouth but the words got stuck in my throat. Choking on the words, I closed my mouth and let him continue.

"They've got your donor. Definitely, the only thing they need now is you."

The words refused to sink in at first, then gradually my face turned into a blank stare. It hit like a physical blow. My gut twisted spasmodically and nausea hovered over me, threatening to suffocate me. Confliction in my head over what I wanted, or thought I wanted, battled inside me, draining my energy, leaving me lightheaded; I couldn't tell if this was from happiness, fear or sadness.

"Isn't this great?" Charlie voice was excited, as finally, having waited years for it to happen, had found an eye donor for me.

In the car earlier, I'd written his mood off as tense and on edge, now I realised that it wasn't any of the possibilities I'd come up with; he was really just keeping a secret from me. Nevertheless, he was happy- I was glad for that much at the very least.

Charlie was clearly on the tip of ecstatic, I, on the other hand, was on the brink of feinting. I gripped the table leg hard with my left hand to keep me on my chair.

Comprehending my thoughts into order, it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't answered him after a long period of silence. "Yeah," I said quickly; then less convincing, "great."

"The date is set." Charlie said, making me feel like I was awaiting a death penalty. His voice was supposed to reassure me, though I was far from comforted. My stomach stilled lurched and another wave of dizziness shook me to my core; the hard wood of the table leg protested as my left hand clenched, nails digging into the resisting surface. Gritting the legs of the table was the only thing that kept me erect on my chair.

"That's great news."

Charlie must have been so joyful about the news, as he didn't realise that my words were a lie.

* * *

Thanks for reading, and I hope I can hear what you think of it.

I'll try, in future, to update this story sooner. It's just I've been very busy is all.

Thank you to everyone that reviews!


	6. Betrayal

_Hello all._

_I'm going to try and keep this short. Basically all I wanted to say is that I'm really trying to write more, it's just I've got a few exams left and I haven't had as much time as I'd liked. Though afterwards I'll have plenty of time to sit down and power write! I also wanted to appologise for how little there is, of this and the next chapter I wrote as I decided I wanted them individually. And, finally, the grammar may be awful but oh well._

_Enjoy?_

* * *

_Betrayal_

_That night I dreamed of darkness and a crushing weight surrounding me, as if I were drowning. It was so dark that I couldn't tell if my eyes were neither open nor closed, though I'd lived most of my life like that. _

_In a second, the ground was lurched out from under my feet and I should have fallen, but I floated; it was as if an invisible being was holding me in the air. I imagined the hands of the person on my arms, my legs, immobilising me. Casting glances down I was sure there was nothing there, though I could feel it so vividly. Then the hands were at my throat. My breath was lost and I gagged and choked, striking out at the emptiness. The darkness's touch against my skin was ice cold, freezing me. _

_Then pressure to my neck had gone._

_Suddenly there was a light in the distance; it appeared so quickly that I ceased struggling to free myself for a moment. The light was small to start with, but was growing bigger and brighter, blindingly so. Intense enough that it burned to look at, I flinched; and then I froze._

_I can see._

_Facing the light again and feeling the scolding sear in response, I savoured the view. This is what it would be like to be able to see?_

_Completely entranced with being able to see that it scared me to death when an unexpected hand ever so slightly brushed my forehead; a bloodcurdling scream erupted and I understood a few seconds later that it came from me. _

Desperately kicking out, I woke up gasping. My hair, that was becoming semi-dry from my shower earlier that night, was now knotted and matted to the sweat on the back of my neck and my forehead. My cotton pyjamas clung to me as I sat up.

I bit the inside of my lip, _did I really scream? Or was that just in the dream?_

I just hoped that I hadn't woken Charlie, but when I listened all I could hear from his room was the shuffle of his fidgeting and his breathing quicken, then eventually slow and deepen.

Curling into a loose ball, I controlled my own breathing and concentrated on clearing my thoughts.

When I was past the shock of the dream, I rolled the covers off me, overheating, and I realised there was an extra blanket on me then before I went to sleep.

_Charlie must have come in to check on me._

There was a small sound from the corner of the room, _a random sound in a house? Like the rogue click of a bulb or an unexpected drip from a facet? Or something other?_

"Hello," I whispered, not really anticipating an answer, and feeling like a complete idiot. I sighed in the following silence, burying my face in my hands to cover my blushing cheeks.

A chilling breeze hit me and I shivered, turning in the direction it came from.

_Is the window open?_

Soldiering all my energy, I got up and shut the window; it slid easily, which surprised me due to its apparent years of disuse, no one had used this room since the last time I'd stayed here.

_If I was cold, why didn't Charlie shut the window too? _

I didn't have time to find answers to my questions, my eyelids began to droop.

I clambered back into bed and into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

Saturday; finally the weekend had started.

I savoured the few extra hours I had to rest in the morning before I dragged myself out of bed. Slowly I got out from under the covers, but when the coldness of air hit me, I hurried for the wardrobe.

Fiddling with fabrics and tossing aside items of clothing, I was- mostly- certain I didn't want to wear, I found a pair of jeans, a top and a hoodie which I threw over my head. The layers of clothes insulated me against the cold and I clambered my way to the landing and down the stairs.

Charlie must have already left for work; it was silent in his absence.

Sluggishly I went to the kitchen and to the phone. I didn't ring Charlie; I never bothered him while he was at work. Instead, I fumbled with the buttons trying to see if there were any messages on the machine. Mum had promised me before I left phoenix that she'd leave me a message as I began settling in. She hasn't so far, but I still find myself checking.

After a few minutes of lucky guessing, I found the button.

The machine said in an emotionless robotic tone, as I hunted through the cupboards for some cereal, "You have five new messages."

I found the box of cereal.

"Message one," it continued.

I found a bowl.

The machine beeped.

Listening, I poured the cereal and heard my mother's happy voice. "Hi Bella, sweetie. How are you? Is school good? Is the work alright, it's not too hard is it?"

Still rummaging for ingredients and such, I rolled my eyes at the over protectiveness in her voice.

"I have some good news, honey. I've booked a flight to come and see you! I should arrive in three days. I can't wait to see you." I could practically hear her beaming. "Honey, we need to talk," she said, more nervous than before. My hands started to shake as I poured the milk, "but, we'll have plenty of time to talk when I'm there, okay? Tell Charlie that I'll be over to visit you guys soon. Take care, bye."

Along with joy, the message also made me scared, _why did she sound so shaky_?

I contemplated as I took my bowl into the dining room and put it on the table.

I sighed when I came back into the kitchen;_ I guess I would find out soon_.

Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, I held it under the tap, keeping my finger in it to know when it was full. When it was, I switched the facet off and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

Blank messages, where people had rang and hang up just after it beeped, played to themselves as I returned to the dining room; I stopped in shock when the last one actually had words in.

"Hello, this is Dr Ruth calling from Forks Community Hospital. The procedure for Miss Swan is still on schedule for the 20th of May. Be sure to arrive at the hospital four hours early for pre-op. If there is another cancelation or you wish to delay the surgery, please contact us immediately. Thank you."

A long beep led into stillness.

I was frozen in place. The glass of water I'd been holding slipped through my numb fingers and smashed into jagged pieces on the floor. My appetite for breakfast had gone and I stood, staring at nothing; seeing nothing.

20th of May, exactly one week from today, the day I were to have my operation.

_Does this explain Renee's unusual tone on the phone?__ Why hadn't she told me earlier?_

_And Charlie, why had he not told me? I admit he told me that I had a donor but not when I'd have my surgery. The machine could have that message from the hospital for weeks, months. If took it a while for them to tell me about the donor then how long were they planning on keeping this from me? There wasn't exactly much time they had left._

_But, o__ne _week_? That's all I had? Why didn't they tell me in a month or two's advance?_

I'd confront Charlie when he gets home.

It gave me a few hours to sober up, gain some strength and put on a brave face, to mask the growing parasite of fear within me.

* * *

So? What do you think?

Please Review and comment.

Thank you, to everyone that has/will, it really cheers me up when I'm having a bad day. I'm very grateful!


	7. Unwanted

_Hello._

_Here's the next part._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_Unwanted_

I was sat on the stairs when Charlie pulled onto the driveway at eight o'clock at night. When he came through the door, he huffed in exhaustion, which made me rethink about yelling at him.

I heard him pull off his boots and unload his gear on to the small table by the door where he put his mail.

"Hello?" He called. He mustn't have realised I was so close, "Bell- oh!" Charlie gasped in surprise.

"Sorry," I laughed once, to my ears though it sounded impassive. "It's a change though. _You_ are usually the one that scares _me_."

"Bells, are you okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" I asked him, slightly sour.

"Alright..?" His uncertainness made it almost sound like a question.

My chin rose as I gritted my teeth together and spoke through them, "is there something you want to tell me?"

Charlie seemed to hesitate; "Ummm…" he fumbled, "No, not really. _Why? _Is something wrong?"

I clamped my eyes shut and buried my head in my hands so he couldn't see the annoyance on my face. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

My head snapped up, "You know what," I unintentionally yelled.

"Bells, what's going on?"

I couldn't be sure if he was lying or telling the truth. Either way, I marched to the kitchen and slammed down on the phone until I was fortunate enough to hear the messages again. Mum's message played in the background as I asked him, "Are you sure you don't know? Because I'm sure you do. You've known all along and you didn't tell me _when_."

"When what?" He interjected.

"When I'd have-" I cut off, not being able to finish.

He seemed to catch on then. "Bells, I didn't mean to keep it from you for so long but I just couldn't find the words to tell you."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I could feel my face scrunch up in sadness. "The message has been on there for more then two months," this was a definite fact- I'd checked the date on the machine.

"I know I should have," his voice, pained. "We just couldn't-"

"_We_?" I asked, my voice an octave higher than before.

"Your mother and I, we didn't know how to tell you. But by the sounds of her message" –which had just ended- "she was planning on telling you when she gets here. We were going to tell it to you better, break it to you gently. We didn't want you to find out the way you did."

Right on cue, the message from the hospital started, the room went dead apart from the voice echoing from the speaker.

I didn't know I was crying until the answer machine beeped, it was noiseless apart from my sobbing.

"Bella-" Charlie said softly, as to not scare me but to comfort me.

"I'm going to bed," I announced. "Dinner's in the oven. See you in the morning." Fisting my hands and crossing my arms over my chest, I headed to my room.

Charlie's voice was just audible behind me, "I'm sorry, Bells. We'll talk in the morning then…"

I brushed my teeth quickly, wanting desperately to just go to sleep- to be unconscious and not have to deal with the hassles of life and conscious thoughts-worries.

Resisting the urge to slam my door, I closed it slowly with a tiny click. The need to cry, to burst into a fit of tears was too over powering and I found myself sliding down my bedroom door. When I hit the floor, I curled into a ball and let my stress, sadness and the terror in me win its battle over breaking me down.

After what felt like hours, my eyes finally ran dry; I slipped into my bed, and into dreams that I knew I'd forget when I'd wake up.

* * *

I'd talked to Charlie on Sunday, he reassured me that there was nothing to worry about, after he apologised a million times. I'd repeat the same words to him, "its fine, I'm not mad. I just would've liked more notice."

I think he felt better after our discussion, and truthfully, so did I. I wasn't as terrified as before, not that that feeling has completely disappeared, but I knew I'd be okay.

In the overemotional state I was in on Sunday, I made Charlie promise that no matter who it was, be it doctor, nurse, him or mum, _someone_ would be with me when I woke up.

He had promised.

Monday morning was awful but I made it to school on time. Charlie dropped me off and I went straight to first lesson, I may have been on time but I didn't have time to dawdle.

I followed the daily routine with no fuss.

When we had our first break, I searched for Jessica, Mike or someone from our group. However, I didn't need to worry, for _they_ found _me_.

"Bella" Jessica squealed.

"Hey," I replied with much less enthusiasm.

"Where have you been?" Mike asked curious.

"Umm…lessons?" I stated simply.

"Yeah, I know, but I mean, where were you this morning?" He wondered still exceptionally curious.

"Yes, Bella," Jessica's tone had changed slightly; it had hardened, "where were you?" I don't know what it was that had upset her but it couldn't have been something I did, because I wasn't doing anything.

"Urm…" I was taken aback by Jessica's attitude that I paused for a moment, carefully thinking about how to structure my words. "I was just late, is all. I overslept." I laughed once, and only Mike joined me.

Then a voice called, it pulled at the edges of my memory but I couldn't remember the name that went with the voice. "Hey, there's my girl!" I nearly screamed in surprise when an arm draped over my shoulder.

Jessica giggled quietly, trying to disguise it as coughing. _What is wrong with her?_

"Do I know you?" I asked the person that was still holding me to their side.

"What? You don't recognise my voice?" He said with false betrayal.

I attempted to manoeuvre out of their grasp, but failed. "Well, there are so many voices I've had to remember that it's becoming a challenge to decipher them apart from the others. Now help me out. Are you Tyler, Conner or Eric?"

"I'm quite disappointed that you can't tell it's me," he said again with joking sorrow. "It's Tyler," he answered, removing his arm from my shoulders.

"Oh, sorry, Tyler," of course it was. I wasn't sure if it was just me but my voice sounded very tired. Tyler, tremendously confident and out spoken, but I couldn't be sure if those were the reasons for feeling awkward around him.

"Right," Tyler said. Someone clapped their hands together, making me startle a bit. "We have about five minutes left, what do you want to do?"

"Who says we have to _do_ anything? Can't we just sit down and talk?" Jessica asked, and I could have sworn the small bitterness in her tone was still present.

"Yes," I answered quickly, trying in a pathetic attempt to make her feel better. "I agree with Jessica."

"See?" Jessica sounded smug. It was a rhetorical question, _or at least I hope it was_.

We did just that, we talked. Mike, Tyler and Conner, who had turned up a while later, talked about the broadcast that promised a light snow to appear on and off during the next month. I mentally cringed. Jessica on the other hand was talking about shopping, places she wanted to shop, what she wanted to buy and when she thought she'd like to go. It was quite uncomfortable when I admitted to not liking shopping. Lauren jumped into the conversation quickly though, with a small whisper she didn't think I heard, "what kind of girl doesn't like shopping?"

I held back the urge to retaliate; instead I pretend that I hadn't noticed.

Angela being the sweet girl she is talked to me, asking questions that didn't probe or make me uneasy, like most of Jessica's questions did.

The bell signalled us to lessons and I was terribly glad, I couldn't take a second more of pretending that I was right to be here, in a school that didn't welcome me. For an immeasurable second, I thought of how different it would have been at a school for the blind; for a start they would've been happier to have me, and wouldn't treat me like an exile. There classes would've been different; easier, maybe. And the students there would be like me, and wouldn't have a reason to shun me like the pariah Forks High School seems to. In Forks I'm a waste of space, the only person happy to see me would be my father, and I've burdened him extremely; as I did with my mother back in phoenix, not intentionally. I wouldn't ever ask anything more from my parents, they've always done what's right for me, what's best. In my opinion, they've done too much…

"Bella, are you alright?"

I didn't care whose voice it was, I didn't even bother trying to decipher who it was. With a swift, "I'm fine," as an answer, I hung my head to side my sorrow. A hand on my arm, followed by Jessica's familiar voice, saved me from explaining.

Wordlessly she pulled me, like a girl dragging her favourite doll behind her, unaware of it scrapping the ground behind her, blackening from the dirt- a possession, nothing more.

* * *

_Comments please!_

_Thank you to everyone that reviews! You're awesome!_

_Hopefully update soon._


	8. An Experiment

_Hello._

_This is the next chapter. It's not brilliant, it was a bit rushed, but I hope you like it anyway._

* * *

_An Experiment_

They say words don't hurt, I entirely disagree.

On the day that my mother was to arrive at Forks, another message from the hospital came. I was eating breakfast at the time Charlie told me, not seeming to keep anything from me anymore, not anymore. Knowing made it easier to talk to Charlie, though nothing settled the nerves in my stomach.

"What did it say?" I asked as he led me into the kitchen and to the phone.

"I'll play it," he answered simply, instead of answering the question.

_Beep._

"Hi, I'm calling from Forks Community hospital on behalf of Miss Swan's operation on the 20th. Her doctor isn't available at that time, due to personal reasons. Another doctor has been assigned and is willing to perform the surgery. We are informing you of this change so you can decide if you would wish to carry on with the surgery or wait until your previous doctor is available. Feel free to contact us and meet your new surgeon if that helps influence your decision. Sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you for your time."

_Beep._

I took a deep breath before searching for the right words. When none came, I exhaled, "oh." _Why did the message send a wave of ache through my body? Was it the uncertainty of what was to come? _Maybe I was just worrying too much.

But the way the woman on the message seemed so calm and professional made it somehow worse, as if she'd passed this message on a lot. The vagueness of the whole situation, all the things I didn't know and the things that were kept from me, made me perturbed. I would have shuddered, if Charlie weren't there to see.

"That's what I thought," he said thoughtfully. "So, what do you want to do?"

Nibbling on the inside of my lip, I replied, "I'm not sure."

He breathed heavily, "hmm."

He sounded deep in thought but desperate for an answer, so I spoke quickly, "well I would like to meet the doctor first. It would be nice to know the person operating on me, more then being in the hands of a stranger."

"Alright, well, I'll give the hospital a call when I've got a free minute at work. Are you ready for school?"

"Sure." I clicked the fingers of my free hand to be sure I didn't bump into anything as I carried my bowl into the kitchen.

Charlie's hand on my shoulder was to be expected as he guided me to the car, what I didn't expect was what he said. "Is this what you want? You know this operation; to be able to see again after all this time of not being able to."

"Yes…and no." I said truthfully, he would have accused me if I lied to him. "I, both, want to see and there's part of me that doesn't."

We were in the car now and he was reversing out of the driveway. "There's a part of you that doesn't want to see?"

"Yeah," I mumbled uncomfortably, I didn't like admitting my weaknesses but he's my father and every time I had lied to him in the past he just went painfully quite. In a world of darkness, the only thing that kept me going was voices, sounds and support.

But I couldn't tell him all the raging anxieties within me; I couldn't tell him how I didn't want to see, as I was afraid that I wouldn't like what I saw. I've created a vision of the world in my imagination; the image has faded over time, but… _what if my view was wrong? What if the world in my head was nothing like the way it truly was? _I did want to see the beautiful parts of the world, but what's to say that would stop me seeing the bad parts too? In a place so wonderful, how can it even be possible for it to be tainted by evil?

Just thinking about opening my eyes, and being disappointed with what I saw, scared me, to have my hope plummet to nothing. Not knowing what I'd open my eyes to, that was my worst nightmare.

He seemed to hear my discomfort and changed the subject. "So, how's school? Made any friends?"

"School's good," I twisted the truth to make it seem like everything was fine. My words weren't entirely a lie; school is a good place, because it provides education. "And I've made a few friends," _I guess. _Though the only person I could truly class even remotely close to being my friend was Angela, she's been the nicest out of everyone. My view of Jessica has changed a little over the past few days; I feel the need to help her with what ever is bothering her, _if only I knew what that _was. Mike has always been friendly and helpful, so has Tyler, Connor and Eric, but I get the impression that they all just want to understand the difficulties of being blind. If, after all this time, I found out that they were all being nice to me just to ask about being blind, and how it feels, it would shake me. Never in my life have I ever really spent time with people my own age.

And I'd never felt like I had a disability, or that anything was holding me back, ever in my life. I didn't want anyone to see me as misfortunate or unlucky-even though I haven't had my fair share of luck in… well, a long time. And I'm not devoid of anything, there's only one thing I miss, but that was about to change.

Charlie broke me out of my deep thought. "Well, have fun, kid. Don't let anyone be mean to you, alright? If you have any trouble with anyone-" I wasn't sure if he sounded more like an over-protective dad or a police chief.

"Dad, I'm fine. It's okay, if something was wrong, you'd be the first to know, okay?"

"Sure, Bells. That's good to hear." I could hear the smile in his approving voice. "Now go on and find those friends of yours."

I groaned to myself as I slid out the car.

"Oh, hey Bella," Mike called from a distance but was closing in.

"Hey," I greeted, tucking a piece of hair that was blowing in my face behind my ear. My fingers grazed over the sunglasses I was wearing- a necessity I usually wore. Some may find it stupid to wear glasses when you can't even see but they weren't for my benefit, it was so people didn't feel ill at ease when looking at my blank eyes.

It was seasonably chilly today and the wind picked up then, I shivered in my thin layers of clothing.

"Are you cold?" Mike asked.

"No, I'm great," I tried to speak normally through my clenched teeth, it was better than them chattering. "Is Forks always like this though?" I crossed my arms over my chest for insulation, _why didn't Renee remind me about the bad weather in Forks? I wasn't complete equipped for the cold, having spent most of my life in boiling hot countries with Renee. Though, surely I would have remembered the bitingly frosty air from the last time I was here... but that was so long ago…_

He chuckled, "You're lucky, it's usually worse than this. We haven't had rain in a while, and that's saying something. After the snow I think it might clear up though, don't worry."

_Snow, _I made a face at that, crinkling my nose in disgust. He laughed at my expression.

"Come on," he urged, grabbing my elbow. "Let's get to class."

* * *

For the whole day, I couldn't shake off all the apprehension building within me over the upcoming ordeal I had to face. Hour after hour, I got in a worse condition, there were moments where I thought I was having a panic attack, but I reined it in. Now and then, my hands would tremble and I'd cross my arms, digging my fisted hands into my chest. No one seemed to notice my panicked state, which I was entirely thankful for- I'd been able to hide my agonising concern from the eyes of my classmates; either that or they were uncertain if they should voice their curiosity.

By the time we headed to lunch, I felt nauseated. Just thinking of food made my unsettled stomach churn unpleasantly.

Mike saw through my facade, just a little, enough for him to worry. He turned to Jessica for answers, "What's up with Bella?"

The voice pulled me from my reverie, "I'm fine." I was conscious of being in the queue of the cafeteria, along with others waiting to get food. I'd been so out of it, staring downward, that it probably freaked them out.

"What do you want for lunch today, Bella?" Jessica asked as usual, she'd always got my food for me, ever since the first day. She'd pick it up and I'd pay at the till, it was our little system.

My stomach twisted in response to her words, "I'll just have a soda today."

Mike spoke now, "You don't want anything else?"

I told them the truth, "I'm not hungry."

When we were sat at our usual table, on one side of the hall, was when Mike and Jessica started talking to me again. After a few minutes of normal conversation, Tyler, Connor and Eric asked me some surprising questions. They were unanticipated, as no one had ever asked me them before.

"So, how do you not bump into anything?" Tyler asked.

I laughed awkwardly, "I, kind of, do."

Conner chuckled, and then rephrased, "what he means is, how do you find where you're going when no one is… leading you?"

I answered simply, simpler then it was, "Echolocation."

There was a moment of stunned silence then, "Nah, I don't believe it," Tyler criticised.

"It'd be cool if it _was_ true," Eric said.

"For sure," Tyler agreed. "There's no doubt about _that_. I just think she's lying."

I didn't care if they believed me or not, but it bugged me how they didn't _trust_ me.

"I believe her," a small female voice announced.

I turned in her direction to give her a smile, "Thanks Angela."

"Me, too," Mike said rapidly.

"Thanks."

"I still don't. I'll need proof," Tyler said around a mouthful of food.

Before I could speak, Jessica hissed a little, "what kind of proof?"

"We could do a test. See if she's truly lying," Tyler said, sounding confident with his idea.

My chin jerked out a fraction, they were talking as if I wasn't here. I hoped that they didn't talk about me like this when I wasn't around. And what they were saying, it made me feel like a science experiment again, something unnatural that needed to be studied.

Angela contradicted, battling for me, _bless her,_ "And if she's not?"

Tyler turned serious then, "I would apologise."

"How about it then, Bella?" Eric asked, all too anxious to know the truth.

My eyes drooped tiredly. Well, they wouldn't stop if I didn't try, either way I didn't care. But then fearfully, "what _test"-_I half spat the word- "were you planning on doing?"

"If you don't want to Bella-"Angela had begun but was interrupted by Tyler's now impatient tone.

"We'll start off simple. How many fingers am I holding up?" The rustle of his clothes when he lifted his arm sounded loud to me.

I sighed heavily, before clicking my fingers and waiting for the echo. It took only a few seconds, "three."

Someone gasped slightly.

"That's awesome!" One of the boys rejoiced.

"Hold on," Tyler calmed them. "Round two," he said, "How many now?"

A sharp breath out of my nose, _this is getting ridiculous, but if I didn't..._

Click, click, click.

"That's cheating," I frowned.

"What?" Tyler said, innocently.

"You're not holding up any," I mumbled, staring down at where the table should be.

"Dude, that's freaky," Connor chuckled in amazement.

_Great, now I'm a freak._

"Last test," Tyler said, still unconvinced, _as if I had guessed._

"No, Tyler. Don't make Bella do anything she doesn't want to." Angela yelled across the table.

"Relax, Angela. She doesn't mind, do you Bella?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "I don't mind, as long as it's the _last_ test."

"See," to Angela and then to me, "we need something on a bigger scale…umm…how about…" he said, thinking. "How many tables are in this room?"

"Seriously, Tyler," Angela cautioned scornfully, "You're being unreason-"

"Bella said she's alright with it, now, just this last experiment," Tyler promised.

Angela leaned back in her chair and under her breath she said, "What more proof do you need?"

"Obviously he hasn't gotten enough yet," I said to Angela. I said her mouth open in surprise. "But that's fine." To Tyler, "Only if you leave me alone after this."

"Sure. We have a deal."

"Good, cause I'm only going to do this once." I said before bowing my head in concentration. I clicked the fingers on both of my hands, more times than before, needing more accuracy and echoes back to me.

In my head, _one, two, three, four, five…_

"I can't be completely sure. Somewhere between sixteen and eighteen, No wait…" A pause, "Eighteen," my voice was full of conviction.

Quietly, Mike stood up and started counting to himself. After a few seconds, he laughed once, "She's right!"

Jessica exhaled in a big gush; it came out sounding like "ha."

"Bella, I'm sorry I didn't believe you," Connor said.

"It's fine. I totally understand why you would, anyone would." I chewed the inside of lip and my gums; I could feel all their eyes on me. The conclusion of the science experiment was coming.

I heard Tyler swallow some more food while he thought.

"Tyler," Angela jeered. "I think you're forgetting something."

He must have thrown her a glare or something because Jessica defended her, "Don't give her that! You promised you know, now say you're sorry." She didn't sound happy, one of the corners of my lips turned down slightly- something was still bothering her.

"Jeez, guys. I'm getting to it, God, let me eat!"

"Tyler," Mike retorted.

"Alright! I'm really sorry Bella; I didn't mean to doubt you. I have to admit that was pretty awesome… and a bit weird." Tyler said, sounding like he wished he could see it again.

_Okay so I'm unnatural, a freak _and_ weird. Want to add anything else to list?_

"You can say that again. How did you learn that, Bella?" Connor asked, bewildered.

"Yeah, how?" Lauren, who'd been quite the whole time, spoke up. Her tone wasn't friendly.

I ignored her arrogant tone, "well, over time, since I lost my sight, my other senses became heightened. My hearing, smell, touch and taste…it's, kind of, my body adapting." I used an example then, one that made me seem more inhuman. "It's like in horror movies, you know where people become, somewhat, mutant, when they've been quarantined for so long…what's it called?" I said, searching for the name of the film.

"_Decent_?" Tyler offered.

"_The Cave_?" Mike asked.

"Like, _I am legend,_ or something?" Connor added.

I was aware how only the boys answered, the girls probably not knowing what I was going on about, "Exactly. In all of those movies, people have…almost, evolved to living in the conditions they're contained in. My senses are sharper so I can…well, 'survive', if you like; where you all can see, my other senses are stronger because I've lost that ability."

"I get it," Mike sounded proud of himself for getting my deficient explanation.

"No, you don't" Tyler said doubtfully.

"Yeah, I do." Mike said in rebuff.

"It all sounds crazy to me," Lauren leered, I could imagine how she would have looked, saying the words while looking at me down her nose.

Her comment was a whisper to Jess, that's why no one took any notice. I, on the other hand, blushed at the spectacle I'd made myself and looked down at the darkness I'd grown used to. Everyone on the table I sat on talked about me for a little while, as if I'd left the table and I wasn't in their presence anymore. I waited for them to move on to different topics, and for my face to hide the embarrassment and self-hatred, before lifting my head up.

That's when I heard a small hurried whisper on the other side of the hall. It was too low to make out, but I concentrated, leaning toward the sound to help.

Then Jessica's voice next to me, seeming so loud now, made me jump. "Edward Cullen is staring at you."

_Edward? __Who's?...Oh! I remember. How could I forget? His voice was unforgettable, soft and angelic. _I tried to snap myself out of the thought. "Does he look mad?" I asked, ducking my head from anyone's view. Yes, he seemed bothered before, and I wondered, _was it something I had done?_

Jessica sounded confused. "No. Why should he?"

I blushed deep red, glad no one could see it. "I don't think he likes me."

"Why's that?"

"He…umm…" _How was the best way to put it?_ "He seemed…distracted, maybe. And he always seems in a hurry to leave class," I pondered. "I don't know maybe I'm being stupid, maybe it's nothing." _However, it didn't feel like nothing? I really felt like he hated me,_ I frowned, keeping that to myself. In any case, I didn't plan on telling Charlie, it wasn't anything to fuss over.

"Well, he doesn't look angry," she said, comforting. I got the feeling though that she wished that she could say he _did _look angry_,_ but then thought better of it.

_What's wrong with me? Am I making something out of nothing? Was Jessica really sad? And did this Edward really have a problem?__ Or was_ I_ the one with the problem? Was I making it up?_

I heard a shuffling from the table he was sat at, it didn't belong to him; distracted now, "who's he sat with?"

"The rest of the Cullen's," she said in a voice as if I should have known. "They're all adopted by Mr and Mrs Cullen. Dr Cullen and his wife can't have children, I guess" she spoke as if she was spreading gossip. "So they adopted the five of them."

"Five children?" I marvelled. "Wow, that's really nice of them."

"Yeah," her voice showed she didn't agree with me. "Anyway, well, they're all together. You know?" I didn't. "There's Alice Cullen, the smallest of them, with short black hair." She moved on, not really giving me enough detail to create an image of them in my mind. "She's with Jasper Hale, he has blonde hair, a little long but neither long or short," again not a lot of detail. "Then there's Rosalie Hale, blonde, pretty, you know, the works. She's with Emmet Cullen, big buff guy, lots of muscle, and tall." So far, Emmet was the one I could visualise the most. "And then there's Edward Cullen. Well, you already know him. He has a mix of blonde and brown hair," she sighed, like she was in a trance, "totally gorgeous. But apparently no one here is good enough for him," I began thinking of when he must of turned her down, she sounded bitter.

My lips pursed slightly, my eyebrows knotting together. It frustrated me sometimes how seeing was so natural to everyone and they took advantage of that. You never truly miss something, or know how much you love something until it's taken from you. In this moment, I missed being able to see more than ever, because I wanted to see all of their faces; the faces of those who sat with me at our table, the faces of the students around school, the faces of my family that have blurred over time and aged over the years. With that, I wanted to see the faces of the Cullen's too; _maybe Jessica's explanation was so loose because there were no words to describe them?_ I wasn't sure.

Then a dark thought entered my head. _I'd get to see the faces soon enough._ I shuddered, cringed, and then frowned.

I hoped no one had seen my reaction. However, Jessica missed my response.

My cheeks heated, feeling an intense gaze fixed on me.

Jessica's words confirmed my blush; I could hear her beaming when she squeaked, "He's still staring."

"Stop looking," I flushed brighter in chagrin, probably resembling a tomato at this point.

Jessica giggled but followed my order, turning to Lauren to chat.

When I felt some of the colour leave my cheeks, I raised my head and sighed deeply. For the rest of lunch I listened to only the people at our table. Now and then, though I'd find myself trying to listen to the far table where, no doubt, the Cullen's sat, but I'd catch myself; each time scolding myself for eavesdropping on their conversations.

The bell rang and I was thankful when Angela trotted in alliance at my side. "Are you okay, Bella?" Her friendly voice full of concern.

"I'm fine, thanks Angela."

I smiled slightly when she took my wrist and guided me out of the cafeteria. As long as I had friends like Angela, I knew I could make it though anything.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! And thank you to everyone that reviews me!_

_Just quickly I'd like to apologise, as for the next two weeks I won't have as much as I hoped to write. After, around, the 23rd I should have more time to spend on this story._

_I'm saying this because I don't want you to think I've adandoned this story and I don't want to lose any readers. :) I will continue this story as soon as possible._

_Thanks!_

_And please review._


	9. Blood Typing

_Hello, again._

_I know it's been a while since I've added to this story but here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. It's a little longer then the rest, I got a bit carried away and there was a lot I could've writen._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Blood Typing

"What lesson do we have next?" I wondered aloud as we walked across campus.

"_You_ have biology," Angela laughed. "Don't worry, I'll drop you off, it's on the way anyway."

"Thanks," I said and I really meant it. Angela was the friend I had always wanted.

"Sorry, about what they made you do; it wasn't nice of them to make you," she said in a caring, affectionate way, the way you'd protect your friends. The whole concept of friends was still foreign to me.

My lips twitched to one side then smoothed out again. Although Angela probably knew how I felt, that still didn't make me voice the fact that I felt like more of a lab experiment then a human being, being to scared to face the fact if she didn't. "It could've been worse," I tried not to picture what the worst would've been like.

"Don't let them get to you. I know they can be…well, annoying most of the time, but that is just… how they are. I try not to let it effect me," she said softly.

"How's that working out?"

"Let's just say, I haven't gone crazy yet," she giggled to herself. "They can be 'off the wall' sometimes, but mostly they aren't so rash. But I'm just saying this so you know, they have their moments where they don't think before they say something; like today."

"No, really I'll be okay with it. Thank you though. Many people wouldn't do what you've already done for me, and I've, basically, only just met you." It was true, that's what made it even more bizarre.

"I'd like it if someone did the same for me. 'Treat those how you would want to be treated'."

I smiled, touched. _I'm so lucky to even _know_ her._ "I'd have done the same for you. Thank you, again."

I could detect the smile in her perky voice, "don't mention it. And I know you'd do the same for me, you're that kind of person. That's why I thought I should've said something back there." I was about to thank her again but she spoke first. "Here we are," she said letting go of my arm. "Do you want me to take you inside?" she offered.

"No, no, it's fine. I'll find my way. Thanks for everything." I still felt, after all the times I'd said it, that I hadn't said 'thank you' enough.

"Don't worry about it. See you later, yeah?"

"Sure, why not." I replied and reached for the handle of the classroom door. Once I was inside and in my seat, I realised the seat beside me was empty. My first thought was, _oh no, not more strange absences._ Then I thought of how Jessica and I were talking about the Cullen's at lunch; he had been there. _Was he avoiding me now? Did he hate me that much? Jessica said he didn't look mad, but what then? How did he feel about me? And why was he staring at me at lunch? If it wasn't out of hatred, what was it? Disgust? Did he really feel the need to skip his lessons just so he didn't have to sit next to me for an hour a day? Or was it out of pity? For the fact that I couldn't see._

All these frustrating questions swirled in my head without answers. I was so zoned out that I didn't even notice that the teacher had begun speaking. The words I picked out through the mist of questions in my mind where 'I thought' and 'blood drive'. I was still too involved with the questions in my head. _Was he ever going to come back to classes? Or was he waiting for me to leave, after being humiliated by his absence and rejected?_

_Maybe…maybe, I'm thinking too negatively. He could've have been feel sick and went home, just because he's not here doesn't mean he's not here because of me. Why I'd jumped to that conclusion so quickly baffled me. _Then I began interrogating myself. _What was he to me? Why did I feel that he wasn't here because of something _I_ did? I hadn't done anything. _

_Apart from his behaviour towards me, there was no ounce in my mind that doubted he wasn't a nice guy. _I remembered our last conversation, _he'd seemed so rational, kind and normal, completely separate from the cold-shoulder he'd given me the first time we met. In those two times, he seemed like two entirely different people altogether. If it weren't for his name and voice, I would have thought that there were two people._

_So was the problem really _me_?_

A smell hit me then that made me want to pug my nose. I'd been so out of it that I was now subconsciously aware that the teacher had been talking about an annual blood drive that was taking place soon and he'd wondered if the class would like to know their blood types; he'd thought it would be a nice thing, for the kids to donate to those in need. I had heard the sound of Mike Newton getting up out of his chair to go to the front of the class to Mr Banner. "This will just be a little pinch" Mr Banner had warned as he, no doubt, brandished a skewer to puncture Mike's finger. I had heard the small sound of the metal piecing the skin first, then Mike's small gasp of pain. The smell of the blood made my stomach tense, the metal and salt contrast of it hit me, making me lightheaded and I doubled over the desk. I pressed my sweating forehead to the cool wood of the table and breathed slowly through my mouth.

Mr Banner had told the children to start, five second later, his voice spoke much lower, only intended for my ears. "Bella, are you okay? Are you feeling sick? Do you want to leave? Get some fresh air?"

I nodded weakly. _Please let me out, I'll do anything, I'll crawl out if I had to._ My heightened sense of smell seemed like a curse in situations like these.

Mr Banner's voice was louder this time, talking to the class. "Can someone please take Isabella to the nurse?"

I was too tired and weak to correct him, _Bella, I prefer Bella_.

Mike sounded all too eager, "I will, Sir." His arm raped around my waist and took most of my weight off my feet; I would've been grateful but the gesture seemed awkward.

I was thankful when we were outside, the clean air really helped. What didn't help was Mike's bleeding hand. "Can you put your hand in your pocket?"

"Umm…okay…? Why?"

The smell still lingered in the air around me and I staggered a bit. "The smell of blood makes me sick."

"Are you alright?"

"What ever you do, keep your hand in your pocket," I warned him with all the force I could muster.

We walked a few more steps but then I couldn't take it anymore, even with most of my weight taken away from me. I couldn't walk anymore. "Just let me sit for a minute, please?" I pleaded, crouching down as I spoke.

"On the _pavement_?" He sounded as if the concept was disgusting, but I didn't care, I couldn't even think. I ignored him and started to faint.

He helped me though, lowering me slowly down on to the damp, freezing cement of the sidewalk. The ground felt much nicer then the table, and the earthy smell masked the stench of blood. My eyelids drooped shut and I went cold, the blood drained from my face. The chill, for the first time since I moved to Forks, seemed oddly comforting. My head lulled limply as it touched the ground.

"Wow. Bella, you _green_," Mike said nervously.

I felt like I was going to fall asleep when a panicked voice from a distance called my name. The voice shouldn't have been familiar, but it was.

"Bella?"

Mike shifted next to me slightly, tensed now.

_No! Tell me that's my imagination,_ _maybe I'm already asleep, maybe I'm dreaming._

No, I'm not dreaming. Closer now, "What happened? Is she hurt?" Edward asked, still worried. He sounded really upset, and I wasn't imagining it. _Why? And where has he been? Where did he come from?_

Mike stuttered, "I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened. She didn't even prick her finger."

Edward's voice was beside me, relieved now, "Bella, can you hear me?"

I frowned sleepily and groaned, "No. Go away."

Edward laughed in apparent relief. _Since when did he care what happened to me?_

_Or was I making it up again?_

"I was taking her to the nurse," Mike spoke up as if he'd been forgotten about. "But she wouldn't go any further."

"I'll take her," Edward said. I could hear the smile still in his voice. For a wild second I imagined what he would've looked like, then I groaned slightly from the effort it brought; my head throbbed and stole all my energy. I was past the point of being able to think. I just listened to them argue. "You can go back to class."

An icy hand touched my arm, raising goose bumps; the strong arms slid under me and began to lift me.

"No," Mike said defensively. "I'm supposed to do it." He must have reached for me because I could smell his exposed blood close to my face. The only external reaction I could manage in my drowsy state was a small scrunching of my eyes and a quiet moan. My internal reaction was quite different. My stomach somersaulted sharply and I sent a silent prayer to God; _Please, don't make me sick._

A pair of arms won and was striding away, I didn't know which until I heard Mike's irritated yells drifting away behind us. The rocking motion of Edward's walking didn't settle my insides, it made me feel nauseous. I was mentally glad that I hadn't eaten anything earlier at lunch. There's no denying that I would've been sick else.

"Put me down!" _Please, God, please don't let me vomit on him._

"Are you alright" Edward's silky voice was rough-if silk could be rough- with anxiety.

I was aware of my body lying unresponsively in his arms. My mind felt disconnected from my body and I wasn't able to move. "I'm fine," it was just a silent murmur to me.

He somehow heard me. His mood shifted then, suddenly he was entertained. "You look awful."

_Oh, thanks very much._

Something about the way he was holding me felt awkward; I could only feel his arms laced under me, I was being carried away from his body. He seemed completely at ease with carrying me; I listened to his steady breathing, just to be sure.

"So, blood makes you faint?" His smooth voice sounded even slicker when he laughed, angelic and musical- he'd be downright annoying if his voice weren't so beautiful. He laughed as if I was missing a joke.

I didn't reply, unable to. All I did was squeeze my eyes shut tighter, battling to keep my stomach's contents down.

"Not even your own blood?" He sounded more entertained.

"Please," I begged, "Put me back on the sidewalk," swaying back and forth hurt my head and I was close to vomiting. I preyed I didn't, that would be embarrassing.

There was a bang and suddenly I was flooded in warmth, we were inside. I wasn't sure how he opened the door with me in his arms, _maybe the door was already open_.

I heard Ms Cope catch her breath.

"Can you open the door, please?" Edward asked politely before she could speak.

When we were through another door, I heard another gasp, from a different, lower voice. Edward explained before the nurse could ask, his voice had a hint of excitement, "She fainted in Biology."

In acceptance, the nurse clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth before saying, "There's always one."

Edward laughed once before crossing the room and gently lowering me down onto a bed. The bed wasn't comfortable like the ground had been, it was lumpy and smelled like a hospital, it made my gut twist even more. _I hated hospitals._

As soon as Edward put me down he released his hold on me and I heard his hurried footsteps as he scurried away, to stand against the wall on the other side of the room. _Seriously, do I smell? Could he not stand to be around me for a few seconds longer then he had to? Why didn't he just leave? Better yet, why did he offer to take me to the nurse's office? If he didn't want to be around me then why didn't he just let Mike take me?_

_Why does life have to be so complicated?_

I tried to concentrate on breathing. My head hurt as much as if I was having a migraine, but it was fading, I clutched the sheets of the bed in my fists.

An unexpected hand landed on my forehead, the nurse. "Just lie down; it'll pass in a minute. How are you feeling?"

I assessed myself quickly- the pain was subsiding. "Better. I think its going."

"Does this happen a lot?" she asked.

"Sometimes," I admitted, and was accompanied by Edward's laughter, which he tried in a pathetic attempt to disguise as coughing.

It only brought attention on himself, "Oh, yes Edward. You may go back to class now," the nurse said as if she was waving him away.

"I'm supposed to stay with her," Edward lied effortlessly. _Why?_ _Why would he want to stay? To annoy me even further?_ Edward's sure voice nearly made me believe him myself, but I knew the truth.

The nurse shrugged him off, "I'll go and get you an icepack for your head, honey."

I was about to protest but she was already gone.

Left in the room alone with Edward, I clenched my teeth and forced myself to remain silent. When the effort to keep my mouth tight I gave up, relaxing and slumping on the bed.

He was the one to start the conversation, "In all honesty, you really scared me for a minute there."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, even though it sounded weak and raspy, it was still laughter. However, when his tone really registered, I abruptly stopped. His voice sounded as if he was confessing an intense weakness.

"I though Mike Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."

I laughed again then. I couldn't help it, what he was saying just seemed so…unbelievable. Mike didn't seem like the type of person capable of killing anything. Although I had to appreciate Edward, he was making it easy to forget my queasy stomach and actually making me feel a lot better.

"Honestly, I've seen corpses with better colour." He continued, unruffled. "I was concerned that I'd have to avenge your murder."

"Aw, poor Mike. I'll bet he's mad," I said, holding back a smile.

"He absolutely loathes me." His words probably should have been said sadly, but Edward wasn't sad, he was happy. He was glad that Mike hated him.

I frowned, "you can't know that."

"I saw his face-I could tell," he said, still cheery.

"How did you see me? Where were you? Were you ditching?"

"It's good to ditch class now and then," he defended himself.

"Is that so?"

A small silence.

My mouth twitched to the side, "then what _were_ you doing?"

"Hmm?" he sounded like I'd pulled him out of a thought. "Oh, just listening to a CD in my car."

"Anything good?" I smiled.

"_I_ think so." He laughed with me. Before he could tell me about the music he was listening to, the nurse came back with my ice pack. She laid it across my forehead and a second later, I took it off, handing it back to her and explaining how much better I was feeling; I didn't mention how it was mostly because of Edward's company. I felt a little waft of air as if her hands were flapping at me, and then they were on my shoulders pushing me down.

Ms Cope saved me. She exploded through the door into the room and made me nearly propel myself off the bed. She was panic stricken when she said, "We have another one."

I realised the compress was still in my hands and I quickly handed it to the nurse, "I don't need it. I'm really feeling better, thank you." I hurried to make room for them as they towed the poor soul who was sick. "Who is it?" I asked as I joined Edward against the far wall.

"Lee Stephens," Edward replied quietly. "He's in our class." Then suddenly his tone changed, "Oh."

"What?" I said, startled by his alarmed voice.

"Oh, no," He muttered again. "Go out into the office, Bella."

My breathing sped, in bewilderment and fear. "Why?"

"Trust me-go!"

I darted in the direction of the door and I could feel Edward's hand on the small of my back, guiding me forward. We were out of the infirmary within seconds. When we stopped, I turned to him.

"You actually listened to me," he sounded stunned.

"I smelled the blood," I admitted, winkling my nose.

"People can't smell blood," he argued.

"Well, I can. It's the smell that makes me sick, it smells of rust… and salt," I shivered.

The silence stretched on for a long time that I started to feel uncomfortable. "What?" I asked.

"It's nothing."

The door of the infirmary opened and closed, and then Mike's voice came out of nowhere. "_You_ look better," his voice was tired and sharp.

It took me a second for the voice to click in my memory. "Mike? What are you doing here?"

He didn't sound happy, like he thought I didn't want him around. "I brought Lee here. He felt sick too. Are you going back to class?"

"Are you kidding? I'd just have to turn around and come back."

"Yeah, I guess." Then his tone was bright all of a sudden, "Hey, do you remember what we were talking about a couple days back? About the trip to the beach?"

I nodded, I did recall something about a trip.

"We've all been organising a trip to the beach for ages, but the weather hasn't been very nice. For the first time in a long time, they said it might brighten up. It's this weekend and we were all wondering whether you'd like to come?"

"Oh," my eyes widened in shock, I'm really being invited out somewhere. "Who's _we_?"

"Just everyone that we spend lunch with."

"Sure, why not, but…" I bit my lip, "won't it be raining? I mean, isn't Forks always raining?"

I heard Edward's laughter from across the room and was shocked; I'd imagined he'd fled from the room as soon as he could.

"I checked the weather forecast, twice. I promise you, it'll be sunny."

"As sunny as Forks can ever be," I laughed.

Mike laughed with me, "We're meeting at my dad's store at ten- Saturday, you're dad knows where that is."

"I'll be there," I promised.

"Great. I'll see you in Gym," he said before leaving.

"See you." Once I was sure he could hear me, I groaned "Gym."

"I can take care of that." I didn't hear Edward approach me, but suddenly he was by my side, whispering softly in my ear and quickening my pulse. "Go sit down and look pale."

It wasn't a hard request, everyone always said I was pale and my recent drowsiness left me with a thin layer of sweat on my face. Edward sat me in a chair that squeaked under my weight. I rested my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, tired enough to sleep.

I heard Edward speak quietly over the counter.

"Ms Cope?"

I hadn't heard her return to her desk but she replied in a breathless voice, "Yes? How can I help you, Edward?"

"Bella has Gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home. Do you think you could excuse her from class?" His voice was so sweet and persuasive, I couldn't stop myself from imagining how much more overwhelming he'd look.

"Do you need to be excused to, Edward?" Ms. Cope fluttered. He must be handsome, as Ms. Cope-age not being a factor- was still finding it hard to form coherent sentences around him. I wish I could dazzle people like he so easily can.

"No, I have Mrs. Goff, she won't mind."

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better, Bella," she called to me.

I nodded weakly, overacting a little bit.

"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" I was listening so carefully that I heard a hint of sarcasm.

"I can walk," I insisted.

I got up slowly, ignoring the small head rush and Edward led me outside. We walked out into the cold mist that constantly covered Forks, and it had already started to rain again. I enjoyed the continuous rain; I used it to clean my face of sweat.

Edward let go of my arm.

"Thanks. It's almost worth getting sick to miss gym."

"Anytime."

"So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I hoped he'd say yes, but I didn't think it likely. I couldn't imagine Edward even talking to my friends, it's as if we belonged to different worlds that weren't to be entwined. However, the thought of him coming too made me more anxious to go.

"Where are you all going, exactly?"

I tried to journey back and remember where it was they had been talking about, "I think Jessica said something about a 'First beach', at La push?"

Edward laughed once, "I don't think I was really invited."

"Well, I'm inviting you," I sighed, _who cares if everyone will hate me for it later._

"Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap." His voice said he was enjoying the idea more then he should. I was more interested in the 'you and I' part, I liked it more then _I_ should.

But I couldn't help being a bit disappointed with the rejection. Of course, why would he go, and why would he go with me? "Mike-schmike."

Edward laughed, almost inaudibly.

A thought hit me then and I stopped dead in my tracks. "Oh."

"What's wrong?" His voice was instantly concerned.

"I need to call Charlie."

"Why? What's wrong, Bella?"

"I can't get home else," I explained.

There was a tiny pause. "Is that all?" Then Edward laughed, "You don't need to ring your father, I'm dropping you home."

"Oh, no, you don't have to. Really, I-I can walk home," I said even though I knew I couldn't possibly-not without getting ran over first.

He knew that to, "Hardly. Didn't you hear me earlier; when I promised to get you home _safely?_"

"As a matter of fact, no," I smiled.

"Either way, I'll drop you home." With that, he pulled me by my jacket to the direction of his car, ignoring my resistance.

"Really, you don't have-" He gave another sharp pull. "Let go," I said, not as forcefully as I'd have liked.

He released me when I was by the passenger side door of his car. Edward opened the door for me and started to help me in, but I fought against him.

"You areso_ pushy!_" I grumbled.

"It's open for you," he said naturally, as he walked around the car and climbed into his seat behind the wheel.

"Don't worry, I can ring Charlie to pick me up," I stood valiantly at the car as if I had a small thread of reason worth holding onto, worth fighting for. I didn't give him the advantages of knowing that Charlie would still be at work and unable to get me, or that I wouldn't be able to stop him if he forced me into his car. _I wouldn't be much use in a fight._

"And how would you ring him?" He matched me. _I hadn't thought of that._

He knew he had me. I stood there, feeling the raindrops soak me from head to toe.

When I said nothing, he chuckled. "Get in, Bella."

My hair was damp and sticking to my face and I was mentally calculating how far I could run until he caught me, or I ran into something. The outcome didn't look good-there seemed no way out of it.

I was banishing the thought when he caught me again, "I'll just drag you back," he threatened.

Maintaining what little dignity I had left, I climbed into the car. My shoes squeaked and I blushed in embarrassment. "Is this really necessary?" I asked, buckling my seatbelt and pulling my wet hair to hide my flushed face.

He didn't answer. He fumbled with switches, dials, turning the heating up and the radio down. As he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road, I was preparing myself to give him the silent treatment, but that was when I heard the CD he was listening to, "Clair de Lune?" I asked in disbelief.

He sounded equally shocked, "You know Debussy?"

"Not well, but my mother used to play a lot of classical music around the house. I only know my favourites."

"It's one of my favourites, too," he said thoughtfully.

I bit my lip holding back a smile, listening to the music we both seemed to like, and I lost myself in the familiar melody. I was so relaxed against the leather seat, staring out the window at the town-flashing past, that Edward's voice broke me from my reverie.

"What's your mother like?" he asked out of the blue.

It was so unexpected that it took me a while to answer. "Umm…well…I don't really remember what she looks like… we looked similar, but she was much prettier. She always said that I had too much Charlie in me," I laughed at the memory. "She's more outgoing then I am, and braver. She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend," I said, then stopped short. Talking about her brought a flooding feeling of sadness-I was drowning in it. My mother had really been my only friend; there was no one else to talk to except my parents and family doctors.

I was aware of how much of my feelings I was giving away, I was sure he could see it in my face, so I worked at composure.

"How old are you, Bella?" Another unexpected question; what was more confusing was his tone- he sounded frustrated.

He'd stopped the car. I couldn't imagine being at Charlie's house already, though _where else would we be?_

"I'm seventeen," I replied, still confused.

"You don't seem seventeen," he spoke honestly.

His words brought on another memory, which had me laughing again.

"What?" he asked, inquisitive again.

"My mom always said I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year. But what about you? You don't seem like a junior in high school yourself?"

He hastily changed the subject, "So, why did your mother marry Phil?"

I was about to open my mouth to speak when it hit me, I'd only mentioned Phil one time; he must have a good memory to remember me saying it. I thought about asking how he could remember but shook it off and answered him. "My mother, she's young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel younger. At any rate, she's happy, and she's crazy about him."

"And do you approve?" he asked.

"Does it matter if I do, or don't?" She said. "Along as she's happy…it shouldn't matter what I think. She's happy and that's all I want."

"That's very generous of you…but I wonder…," he pondered.

"What?"

"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter whom you may choose?" Edward was so serious and firm that I felt under pressure to answer.

"I-I think so," I stuttered. "But, I mean, she's the parent after all, there's a bit of a difference."

"No one too scary then," he chuckled.

"Define scary; multiple piercings and tattoos?"

He laughed, louder then I've ever heard him laugh before. "That's one definition, I guess."

"What's your definition?" I asked, curious.

He dodged my question again. "Do you think _I_ could be scary?"

I couldn't help but giggle a little. "Which definition are we talking about? If it's mine then I wouldn't know"_ not for a few days_, I added mentally. I pointed to my left eye, "you'd have to be my eyes for me on that one."

Edward laughed once, in half-hearted humour.

"As for the overall definition of scary," I then thought carefully "Hmm, well, I think you could, if you wanted to."

"Are you frightened of me now?" He asked, leaning in close enough to me that I could feel his cool, sweet breath on my face.

_Frightened?_ The only thing that in any degree _frightened_ me was the intenseness of his voice. "No," I replied truthfully- finding no real reason to be afraid- but the shakiness in my voice was not from fear; his breath hung in the air around me and messed with thought process.

He laughed at the unsteadiness in my tone. When he stopped laughing, his voice took on a lighter tone. "And, just so you know, I don't have any tattoos."

I laughed with him, forgetting my embarrassment. "What about piercings?"

"No, piercings," he vowed.

_What a relief _I said to myself jokingly.

After all his questions, I felt that I was owed an answer from him in turn. "So now are you going to tell me about your family?" I asked. "It's bound to be more interesting then mine."

He was sombre again, "What do you already know?"

"The Cullen's adopted you?"

"Yes."

I hesitated, "What happened to your parents?"

"They died many years ago."

Instantly I felt awful, even if he didn't sound upset it didn't mean he wasn't, and I felt guilty for bringing up a harsh topic. "I'm sorry."

"I don't really remember them very well; it was a long time ago. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for many years now."

"And you love them." It was easy to hear in his voice.

"Yes," I could hear his smile and tried to picture it in my head. "I couldn't think of two better people."

I smiled a little at that. "And your brothers and sisters?"

I heard Edward sigh lightly, "my brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me," he said in an urging voice. If it weren't for the softness of his voice then I would've thought he'd be trying to get rid of me, and get as far away as possible-like he always seemed to be.

His words broke me from the little trance-like dream I was in, I realised that I'd forgotten that we were still sat in his car, what had happened earlier that day and I'd definitely forgotten about the fact that his brothers and sisters would be waiting for him. It was like we were in our own little world for a few minutes, but now I realised that it was still the way it always had seemed to me; we belong to two different worlds that couldn't collide, and he obviously didn't want them to.

_Or _…maybe it wasn't because he seemed so magnificent and mysterious, maybe he wasn't the one that made me feel we were different.

Maybe it was …me.

I _am_ different, there a minority of people like me, but being blind didn't make me less human. _So why did Edward always steer clear of me?_

_Was he aware of my fascination for him?_

I shook off all the parading thoughts in my head, understanding that it was my time to exit now.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I should go." I said, reaching for the door handle. I didn't want to get out of the car, I wanted more answers from him, to talk to him more, and feel normal and accepted.

But I wasn't accepted, I was constantly avoided.

"Bella?"

"Yes," I turned to him, too eager, and too hopeful that he'd ask for me to stay, even though I knew it wouldn't happen.

"Have fun at the beach," He chuckled a little. "Good weather for sunbathing," he paused and all I could hear was the rain, still pounding against the windshield. "Well, it will be."

"Won't I see you tomorrow?"

"No, Emmett and I are starting the weekend early."

I preyed the disappointment wasn't noticeable in my voice. "What are you going to do?" A friend can ask that, right?

"We're going to go hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainer."

"Well, I hope you both have fun," My attempt to sound enthusiastic failed, but at least I sounded sincere.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" He asked, intense.

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Could you try to not fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right? You just seem like one of those people that attract disasters like a magnet."

I frowned at the smile in his tone. How would he know? He doesn't know me. How could he make that kind of assumption about me? "I'll see what I can do," I snapped as I slid out of my seat and out of the car into the pouring rain. I slammed the door with more force then necessary.

I found the pavement and waited for him to drive off before stumbling indoors, ignoring the feeling of everyone wanting nothing to do with me.

Maybe Charlie was right, Forks high School was starting to seem like a very bad idea.

* * *

_Thank you for your patience for this chapter. I've just been on holiday recently and have only just finished this. I apologise for any mistakes as I tried to write this as quickly as possible, as I know I haven't updated this story in a while._

_I hope you like it._

_(Just quickly, I wanted to put here, that you may notice that some of the dialogue is the same/similar to the book as I wanted to keep some of the speech the same-to make it seem more real and associable. For things I didn't want to keep I changed.)_

_I do not owe The Twilight Saga. (As much as I wish I did.)_

_And thank you to everyone that reviews me!_


	10. Waiting

_Hi everyone._

_Sorry it's been forever and I haven't written a lot but I just wanted to say how sorry I am and how much time I don't seem to have any of these days._

_I hope you like this, it's just a small chapter I thought I'd throw in so the story flows a bit more._

_Sorry again!_

* * *

Waiting

As soon as I was through the threshold of Charlie's house, I was attacked. A pair of arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tightly. The action was so sudden that I screamed.

"Oh, Bella, I didn't mean to scare you; but did you really have to _scream?_ I think you've deafened me," The all too familiar voice complained.

I gasped in surprise, "Mum?"

"Of course, Bella, who else would it be?" She said, giggling a little.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around her.

"Aw, Bella," Renee whispered, "I've missed you."

"I missed you too, mum." I didn't realise how much I'd missed her until now, I didn't know I relied on her so much.

With a sigh, she released me, stepping back. "You look the same as you did before you left."

"I haven't been gone _that_ long," I smirked, rolling my eyes at her.

"It felt like ages," Renee said reflectively and I mentally agreed with her. "Now," she said, guiding me into the living room, she sat me on the sofa and perched next to me. "Let's talk. How are you?"

"I'm really good-" Before I could ask her in return, she continued.

"Are you sure? You're not worried, or upset or anything?" Her tone sounded a little hectic.

"Mum, are _you_ okay?"

Renee laughed, "Yes, I'm just worried about you is all."

"You don't have to worry about me."

"But I do," she said, persistent. Renee paused for a moment, "Bella, are you sure this is what you want?"

I immediately knew what she was talking about, she sounded just like Charlie. "Yes," I lied.

"Bella," her voice was stern, disapproving.

"I don't know," I told her honestly. "In some ways, yes…"

Renee was silent again, for longer now.

I tried to distract her, and myself. "Where's Charlie?"

"He's at work. My plane arrived early and I got a taxi here. I didn't think I should bother him while he was working." Then her tone changed, became inquisitive. "Why are _you_ home early?"

I opened my mouth, then when no words came out I closed it. I'd forgotten about that, I'd also forgotten how Renee never missed anything. I waited to compose myself and when I felt I could speak, I opened my mouth to try again, "I wasn't feeling so good, so a friend dropped me home."

Unfortunately, for me, instead of questioning the first thing I said, like I thought she would, she questioned the thing that I hoped she wouldn't. "A friend?"

I bit my gums along the inside of my mouth and made an effort to sound nonchalant, "Yes."

"You're making friends then," it wasn't a question. "That's good. That was another thing I was anxious about."

My face saddened. One: I wish she wouldn't worry about me, and Two: Some -one- of my so called 'Friends' treated me no better then a leper… sometimes; the most aggravating thing was that he only treated me like that _sometimes._

Then why didn't I just walk away?

_Because he wouldn't let me,_ I tried to convince myself.

Then why didn't he walk away, the way he used to? _What had changed?_

Renee grew concerned with my quietness. "Okay, let's talk about something else."

I quickly grasped a topic of conversation, "How's Phil?"

"He's alright, but he hasn't been playing recently-he twisted his ankle."

"Ouch."

"He'll get better, he's just chuffed that he can't even walk."

I laughed boomingly, "Chuffed?" I laughed harder. "When did you start using slang?"

She snickered with me, "Since I started using a cell phone."

"What?" The picture was too bizarre to paint in my head. "But all those times of phones and TV's breaking, you said technology hates you."

"And it still does," she fished in her pocket and pulled out something, the phone? "It keeps dying on me, and I don't know what I've done but the language on it has changed to Portuguese or something."

I was in a fit of giggles- it was typical Renee. "Do you remember when Phil had left to play a game and you put on the stereo-"

"And it wouldn't stop playing the same song, over and over. Yeah," she laughed. "I still remember every word."

"It's not like _I_ could help you stop the stereo from going schizophrenic." I nearly cried with laughter. "I'm just glad Phil came straight home after the game."

We laughed together, it reminded me of us back in Phoenix, when life wasn't so confusing or scary.

We talked like this for hours, recalling old memories and funny catastrophes, until Charlie got home.

We both heard him pull up onto the drive, Renee and I waited for him, still on the sofa.

Charlie barrelled into the house. There was shuffling and clanking as if he was carrying many things at once. Renee jumped up to help him.

"Hello. Thanks," he said, "I got your message. Travel safely?"

"Yes, no hassle, thank you," she said unloading his luggage. "I'm a bit tired though."

"I can show you your room if you like," Charlie said, a little awkwardly.

"Actually I have to head into town for a few hours, there are a couple things I've left back in phoenix," Renee admitted sheepishly.

"Will you be back in time to meet Bella's doctor?" He asked questioningly.

"I should be, if I leave now."

A small pause, Charlie sounded different, more unguarded then usual when he said "She's really missed you, you know."

There was no audible reply. "Bye Charlie," Renee said grabbing her bag and heading for the door.

"Bye" Charlie waved.

"Bye, Bella," Renee called before the front door slammed.

"_Bella_?" Charlie sounded bewildered, taken aback and a bit embarrassed. I heard him enter the room, "Bella?" He acknowledged. "What are you doing here?"

I repeated what I'd told Renee and he didn't seem too pleased.

"You're alright now though, yeah?"

"Yes, I'm fine." I took advantage to change the subject, "What time is the doctor getting there?"

"Sometime this afternoon, there's no exact time."

I took a deep shaky breath, "Okay. What do you want for dinner?"

"_Dinner_?" Charlie asked puzzled. "Isn't it a bit early for that?"

I deflated, "I guess." All I wanted was something to do, to distract me.

"Are you sure you're alright, Bella?"

"Yes. I'm going to do my homework," I said, escaping Charlie's questions.

Once I was in my bedroom, I curled up on my bed and cleared my head. Now that I was upstairs, homework felt alien and all I wanted to do was sleep... to dream. In my unconsciousness, life was always so much easier, effortless. At least it used to be. Recently I've been having nightmares, recurring ones. All the same story, with a few details changed, but similar still; the vividness is what scares me the most.

Then, maybe, sleep isn't the answer either.

_What else was there?_

When nothing came to mind, I fidgeted on the bed to get more comfortable and listened to Charlie's position and passage through the house. I didn't do my homework, I didn't sleep, I didn't even dare to think; I just lay on my bed, seeing nothing, hearing everything, and waited.

* * *

_Thank you for your patience and thank you to all of the readers and reviews._

_Review me, please?_


	11. Unexpected

Hello everyone!

This is the next chapter. I'm sorry as it may not be very long or very good, as I haven't had any time at all to write. I will continue this story though and try to, in my limited amount of free time, to keep this story going.

By the way, if there are spelling mistakes or the words are merged together (likethis) I just want you to know that it's because my computer is playing up. :/ But oh well. :)

I hope you like it!

* * *

**Unexpected**

Twenty minutes past five is when the surgeon arrived. I'd relocated to the kitchen, now that it was a more suitable time to prepare dinner. Charlie protested though, insisting that Renee might have picked up them something from the shops; well, that was his excuse. Instead, I decided to wash up. I was listening to the heavy rain outside when the doorbell rang. Charlie let the doctor in, greeting him humbly and offered to take his coat before leading him into the living room.

They chatted comfortably for an immeasurable amount of time, seeming to have a lot in common- or at least a lot to talk about.

Renee wasn't home yet and I started to get nervous; the rain was pounding fiercely against the window and I silently preyed she was under cover.

Lost in thought I heard Charlie beckon me to join them.

_Show time._

Slowly and surely, I placed the mug, and the tea towel I was drying it with, on the counter before feeling my way to the living room.

They shifted when I entered, both rising from their chairs.

"Bella, this is, hopefully, your new doctor, Dr Cullen. Dr Cullen, this is my daughter, Bella."

Cullen? Oh no.

I was extremely conscious of my palm's sweating when Dr Cullen shook my hand.

"It's nice to meet you and please," Dr Cullen said, his voice was friendly but held a lot of authority underneath. "Call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle," I greeted him, nodding my head at the puzzle coming together. He's Edward's father. I had the strange urge to courtesy, I'm glad I didn't.

"Well, Bella, your father tells me you want a corneal transplant?" He asked, business-like in an instant.

"Yes," I answered quickly but slightly tentative.

There was a pause. It seemed to me that he heard my nervousness. "Right, well, enough of that talk for now. Let's get to know each other better, shall we?"

What over reply could I give except, "sure"?

Carlisle or Charlie, I couldn't tell which, but a pair of arms guided and helped to settle me on the couch.

"Would you like a drink, Dr Cullen?" Charlie asked, stood in the doorway, half in and half out of the room.

"Carlisle,"Carlisle insisted, "Please, and no, thank you."

"Bells?"

"Water is fine, thanks dad."

Charlie trotted off to the kitchen to assemble the drinks. I heard the kettle being switched on and the water starting to bubble. With Charlie gone, it was just Carlisle and I left to talk. After a while of timid, polite conversation, the topics I wanted to avoid most cropped up.

"Are you settling in well in Forks? What with a new school and all?"Carlisle wondered, kindly interested.

He was making it exceptionally difficult for me to lie to him, "Yeah, school's great. I prefer it to home-schooling, definitely." I chuckled at the memory of Renee learning most of the stuff with me.

He laughed with me a little. "I'll bet. And are you making friends?"

Another brief hesitation, "Yes, I guess. Everyone has been really helpful."

"Good," he approved, but something in his tone made me feel he didn't really believe me. "My children go to your school, have you heard of them?"

Unwanted hesitations, "Yes, I have. Though I've only spoken to one of them."

_Now why did I have to say_ that_?_

"Were they nice to you? They weren't giving you any grief?" He joked.

_If only he knew…_

"No. Edward was very…" I was running out of adjectives, so I used his "nice."

Carlisle deliberated for a second, but I was saved by Charlie crashing in to the silence of the room.

"Here you go, Bells." Charlie said, placing a glass in my left hand.

I was glad to know that from then on the topic of conversation didn't stray back to school, or friends… _or Edward._

We talked, joked and laughed for about forty minutes, then the atmosphere changed, and the conversation grew more serious.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Bella?"Carlisle asked, mirroring my parents' careful tone very accurately.

"You sound like my parents," I told him, "But yes," the lie very easily spoken now, through repetition. "Well…I'm…it's just…I'm a bit…worried, if I'm going to be honest with you."

"You have no need to worry. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel more comfortable, okay? I could tell you more about your surgery or drop a leaflet around …?"

"Thank you," I said, whole-heartedly.

"That would be brilliant, thank you," Charlie agreed.

"It's no problem,"Carlisle assured him. "Anything I can do, Bella, just ask."

"I just have some questions…" my voice trailed off at the end.

"Ask away,"Carlisle said warmly.

"Will it hurt?" I asked, playing tensely with my fingers and clicking my fingernails on the glass.

"No, I promise, we'll make it as painless as possible," he answered, using a plural for the hospital staff. When I didn't ask another question right away, he pondered, "Was that the only thing bothering you?"

I laughed a little, "No, I have tons of questions."

"I'll answer them as best as I can," he assured me.

He was so open and kind, the opposite in what I'd seen in his son.

Maybe_ seen_ is the wrong word,_ felt_ is possibly better.

There was something strange and different about Edward that he was intensely trying to hide, but I didn't feel anything like that from his much more social and thoughtful father.

I felt I could open up to him, and that's what I did.

I admitted all my anxieties, which he considered logically, before comforting me with reassuring facts. We talked for another hour, Charlie adding a thought or question now and then into the conversation. Somewhere within the hour- I wasn't sure when- Renee arrived, greeted Carlisle and joined us in the living room.

After a while I asked, "Will you give us a minute?"

"Sure, Honey," Renee said, steering Charlie out of his seat and out of the room, his heels were digging all the way.

When I heard their feet stepping on the tiles in the kitchen, I turned to Carlisle. "Can you promise me something?"

"Of course, Bella. What is it?"

An awkwardness I knew would come flooded over me, "can you promise that…when I wake up…someone will be there? I've already asked my parents, but I was wondering- if there was the chance that they couldn't be there- then at least a nurse, or someone, could be there with me. I don't want to be alone."

Carlisle didn't say anything for a moment, I wondered what his reaction to this was. His voice was understanding, "I promise, it shouldn't be too hard."

"Thank you," I thanked him wholeheartedly again, but it didn't feel enough.

"Speaking of your operation," he continued and I went into deadlock, I didn't like talking about it and definitely not right now. My hands started to shake. "You have to arrive at the hospital a few hours earlier then your appointment, is that alright?"

"Yes, I knew that already. The hospital left a message," my tone was clipped; I tried my best to disguise it.

"Right…then there really isn't anything else to worry about, Miss Swan. Everything will be taken care of." Little sentences like that was one of the things that scared me, I had the feeling of everyone keeping something from me again-even though I'm sure I wouldn't want to know, I still didn't want to be in the dark. And I've been in the dark for so long…

I mentally shook the thought away and smiled at his words instead of scream. "Call me Bella, Doctor."

Carlisle laughed, humoured and kind but still professional. "If you call me Carlisle."

I contemplated that, "Deal."

He laughed once more.

Renee and Charlie heard our laughter and came to investigate. They sat down in their previous seats.

"What's so funny?" Renee asked, a little miffed that she'd missed something that could lighten her mood.

"Nothing," I told her, not being able to hide the smirk on my face.

For two more minutes from then we talked. Only this time it was a more casual conversation: the weather, the news, sports- recent things. Charlie took a hold of the conversation when it reared into sports. It got me to thinking how he never could talk about that stuff to Renee or me, only to his friends.

Renee was the one to bring up the surgery again and Carlisle once more smoothed out all the creases, setting our minds at ease.

When Carlisle had erased our worries until we couldn't think of anything else to fear, we all rested back a little more comfortably.

Dr Cullen seemed pleased, "If there is anything else, you can always call me," he paused to place a card in my hand; it was very professional, heavier and thicker than paper- a business card. I felt so grateful when I trailed my fingers over it and found that the numbers and letters were sticking out; if that weren't enough, there was brail on there to. "And we'll talk it through."

"Thank you," We said individually.

"Now I really must be going," Carlisle said, standing up.

"Thank you again, Carlisle," I told him as he left.

He paused briefly, "My pleasure, Bella."

Renee sounded too eager, "Thank you, Dr Cullen. We really appreciate everything your doing and at such short notice…" Her voice faded off as she led Carlisle to the front door.

A minute later the door slammed shut and Renee came back, "he's gorgeous."

Charlie made an uncomfortable noise and I laughed.

"Don't forget Phil, mum," I reminded her.

"Hmm?" she sounded as if I pulled her out of a thought. "Oh, don't be silly, Bella" although she still sounded far away.

Charlie coughed, "Well, I'm going to see what's for dinner," then he was gone.

"So what do you think of Dr Cullen?" Renee asked quickly.

"He's great. I don't think I could ask for a better surgeon." I smiled, loving how good it felt to tell the truth instead of lying all the time. However, now, I didn't have to lie-or at least not to everyone. I could be honest to Carlisle and he'd take all of the concern away. I was actually feeling better about my operation.

Renee sounded happy; the kind of happy that only existed before I went blind. "I think so too."

In the end, Renee made dinner.

She only had to offer once and Charlie couldn't pass an opportunity to watch the game. Unluckily for him, Renee gave him the task of setting the table. I was the only one sat on the sidelines, again. Though, unlike Charlie, I wanted to help.

They plonked me on a chair in the dinning room like an infant and I entertained myself by listening to Charlie complain frequently. Words like "unfair" and "always making me" and "missing the best game" were laced into his mumbling rant.

Silently giggling o myself, I laid my head in my hands, which were crossed on the table in front of me, and I tried to imagine the scene before as it happened. Plates and glasses being placed in an intricate pattern, knives and forks laid parallel to one another; a figure moving unwillingly to the sound of Charlie's footsteps…it wasn't until the figure turned around to expose their blank and blurred face, like the contorted faces in my nightmares, that I sat bolt-up right.

My unexpected movement must have caught Charlie's attention. "What's wrong, Bells?"

I chose randomly from a list of lies in my head, "table's cold." The memory of the face was still clear in my mind.

The chair opposite me slid back on the carpet and Charlie sat there. "Bella, if there's something you want to tell me-"

"Tell _us_" Renee corrected him, strolling in with a clatter of china cutlery.

"Right," Charlie agreed, sounding resigned, "_us_."

"There isn't anything to say, I'm fine."

"She's braver then you give her credit for," Renee put something in the middle of the table, clicked her fingers and then patted the back of my hand.

Clicking her fingers was something she did so she wouldn't scare me if she was going to hug me or tap me on the shoulder. It warned me in advance of her touch. However, there have been times where she didn't click her fingers or where she forgets to, but it just teaches me awareness and to strain harder with my hearing when being approached.

I mentally groaned; 'strain harder with my hearing when being approached' made me sound like some kind of animal.

Renee began dishing out food but stopped, "What's that face for?"

My heart pounded a little faster, _was I pulling a face?_

Before I could speak up Charlie began, caught off guard, "Um, well… er…it's just…What _is_ it?" He asked, with a thin layer of disgust.

Renee huffed, "its _good__ food_. Something you probably haven't had in a long time." Charlie must have given her a look. "Please, I know your cooking. Have you been living off takeaway for all this time?" She teased.

"For your information, my cooking is perfectly fine. I may not be the best chief but I know my food, and that," there was a clang of metal on china, "doesn't look anything like it. Seriously, what _is it_?"

I inhaled, "smells like…potatoes…?"

"There are potatoes in here," Renee said, happy someone seemed to appreciate her efforts. "It's stew," she told the dubious Charlie.

"Another word for 'throw anything in and cook it' if you ask me," Charlie whispered.

"Well no one asked you, did they?" Renee rebuffed rhetorically.

She continued to serve the food.

"I still don't think it looks like 'food'" he joked.

There was a small bang followed by a grunt of pain. I hid my grin and suppressed a sigh, as I wouldn't be able to defend anyone in this argument.

After that there weren't anymore sarcastic comments or unneeded insults; we ate in harmony, chatting about unimportant topics and planning the days ahead that we had together. With both my parents there as distractions, I didn't have to think any further then what I was going to say next. I let myself forget and, for now, to just live in the present.

* * *

I want to say thanks to everyone!

And especially to all the reviewers, thank you. You all really make my day. :D

Review?


	12. The hospital

Hello everyone,

My God this it's been a long time. A year? I feel really bad about leaving this story hanging there and I found a few minutes from my hectic life to write a bit more. I wouldn't just leave this story unfinished but it will take time for each update. I apologise for not updating earlier. A lot has happened in this past year...

But I hope you enjoy this small chapter all the same and I hope you bear with myself slow progress. :)

* * *

The Hospital

Living in the present can only last so long.

Today was the 20th. My operation was at 1:00 pm, in four and a half hours time.

Charlie, Renee and I arrived at the hospital thirty minutes before my pre-op but the receptionist decided to ask if the pre-op could start a few minutes before schedule. Charlie and Renee were reluctant and wanted Dr Cullen's opinion. As the receptionist took my parents to Dr Cullen office, a nurse lead me to a room and sat me on a bed. She comforted me when fixed a drip to my arm, saying that the anesthetic would be quicker and easier to administer this way. I groaned slightly when the needle went in.

Before I separated from Charlie and Renee, I had pulled them to one side and asked if they could ring Mike and tell him I wouldn't make the beach trip- as much as I wished I could be there instead of here I knew that this was the right thing.

The nurse was shuffling now though, grasping my attention. She seemed to walk around the room for a while, rummaging through documents while still trying to keep a conversation with me.

"How are you feeling?"

I re-adjusted myself so the bed sheets weren't scratching my arms, "fine."

"Do you have any plans?" She said, miles away in thought. I could hear her pen scribbling fervently over paper.

"Not really," I said, unable to shake the awkwardness from the air.

She was mid-breath and about to ask another question when someone entered the room, I expected it to be Dr Cullen or my parents but I was surprisingly wrong.

"Hi Jill, have you seen Carlisle anywhere?" That all too familiar voice asked from the door.

"Oh, hello, Edward," the nurse cried in delight. "Where have _you_ been? I haven't seen you around here for a long time." She sounded like a blushing school girl in the eyes of her crush and I suddenly could picture her vividly.

"I've been travelling, here and there." Edward chuckled, then stopped, probably having noticed me fidget, uncomfortable. "I see he has a patient."

"Yes, he does. I was planning on finding him but now that your here would you-"

"I'll stay here," he insisted, his tone was a little eager and persuading. "I don't mind."

"Oh, erm...okay, I-I'll be back in a few minutes," she stuttered, a little confused, as was I. The nurse patted my shoulder and said, "Just lie back and make yourself comfortable," before she left swiftly.

It was silent for a long time that I thought Edward might have slipped out, but I was wrong again. "So, today's the day."

My mouth pulled to one side, "yeah, it's that day."

Another agonising pause. He didn't seem to say anything so I tried to relieve some of the tension, "so, travelling?"

"Hm?" he sounded lost. _Whenever I hear him he sounds like his mind is somewhere else._ "Yes, just seeing a few friends of mine."

I sighed.

"Are you okay?"

The sincere concern in his voice surprised me so much that I lifted my head of the pillow and asked "What?" in case I'd misheard.

"Are you feeling okay?" Edward spoke slowly, the sincerity wasn't there now. I'm hearing things...

"Yes," I said, my voice was shaky even to my ears.

"Then how come I don't believe you?"

I ignored him, "how are you?"

I heard his sharp exhale of breath and the shift of his weight before he crossed the room and settled on to- what I guess was- a chair. "I'm well. Waiting for my father."

"I gathered. Why didn't you go and find him?" _And leave me here to suffer in silence, alone._

"I figured I'd keep you company, and I'm not the worst person to be with."

_Au contraire, mon ami._ I arched my back as I stretched my stiff arms and groaned.

"Tired?" Edward asked, marginally amused.

"I couldn't sleep."

The nurse returned then, making an effort to creep in quietly. "Your father's on his way," she said to Edward, then pulled me into a sitting position to fluff the pillows in effort to make the bed adequately comfortable, "with your parents." She pushed me back down. "Dr Cullen will take you through the pre-op. I have some papers to fill out here first and then I have another patient I need to check on."

"Okay," I said as she began scribbling again.

"So, are you looking forward to being able to see again?" The nurse asked, not really paying attention.

I winced and heard fabric ruffle, "I guess."

The nurse must have seen my face because she put her hand on my foot as a gesture of ease and reassurance. "I know you must be scared, darling, but you don't need to be. The world is really beautiful, in its own unique way. You'll see."

Edward interrupted before she could say another word, "when will my father be here?" His tone was impatient and bitter.

I sunk into the cushions, hoping to disappear. As if on cue the door opened and a moment later I felt Renee and Charlie's hands clasp one of mine.

"Hello, Bella, it's nice to see you again." His voice was so kind and affectionate that I smiled a little in politeness.

"I wish I could say the same." I laughed a little but it sounded off. "Hello, Carlisle," I said slowly, unsure I was still allowed to call him that, especially at his workplace.

He didn't seem fazed, "are you ready for your pre-op?"

"As ready as I'll even be."

"Carlisle," Edward interjected quickly from the corner, "can I talk to you?" He paused, "when you're free?"

"Sure, Edward. I'll meet you in my office."

I heard a small huff, barely audible to myself, and the door open and close.

Dr Cullen came to the opposite of where my parents were standing on. "As soon as we've finished your pre-op, Bella, we'll take you straight to the surgery room, so you may want to talk with your parents before we start." He announced to the three of us, "I'll quickly talk to my son and give you a minute together and then I'll come back."

We thanked him as he left. Then I turned to my parents, hugged them and assured them I'd be fine.

* * *

When I was coming back to my body, I could hear before anything else. The beeping of machines, my steady heart, the quite chaos of hospitals. I stirred slightly.

"Tell Dr Cullen his patient is waking up," an unfamiliar voice said.

There was someone tapping something next to me, that a made an awful _'ting' 'ting' 'ting'_ noise. The door opened, closed and then finally opened as someone returned with another person. Carlisle.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" Carlisle murmured softly to me, his cool hand on my arms. _Was I burning up?_

I felt the breath in my lungs as the whirl in my head subsided. "Yes," I croaked.

"Bella, we're going to put you to sleep for a while longer, alright? Just for the night. You woke up earlier than we expected."

I was panicking now, I felt like an unhealthy dog ready to be put down. _'Ting' 'ting' 'ting'_ again before I realised it was someone flicking a needle. My breath hitched in my throat.

"Bella, there's nothing to be worried about. It's only until you've recovered enough. We don't want you to be in pain."

I couldn't control my breathing. I was hysterical for no reason, I know, but fear dominated me and I couldn't calm myself.

"Bella, you'll be okay. Do you trust me?"

I hyperventilated for a second before forcing myself to breathe deeply. I was being stupid.

I nodded to him, unable to speak.

I didn't hear the nurse administer the drugs through the drip, or hear Carlisle's exit out of the room. The last sound my mind registered before falling back into the dark abyss of sleep was a strange misplaced sound of a whisper in my ear.

* * *

Thanks for reading.


	13. Sight

Hello everyone! I hope your all well.

I tried to write the next part as quickly as possible, reminding myself to upload often, so I apologise for any waffley sentences or incorrect grammar etc.

Anyway, I hope you like it regardless. :)

* * *

Sight

When I woke again I heard the same sounds from the previous night around me. The only thing different this time was the hand, grasping mine tightly.

I squeezed their hand back with as much effort as I could muster as I regained consciousness.

"Bella?" Charlie voice was beyond concerned and hoarse, which led me to believe he hadn't got as much sleep as I have had.

"Hi, Dad," I breathed, the words came out as a mumbled garble.

His hold on my hand tightened, protectively, "are you okay?"

"Mm hm." I tried to open my eyes. Although I was unwilling to admit to myself that I was excited, to see if the operation had worked and to, well,_ see_. But when I tried to open my eyes, I couldn't and felt a severe pain in trying to do so, as if the lids of my eyes had healed together and I was tearing the flesh apart. I winced at the pain and wonderingly put my hand to my face. Around my head were thick bandages and two plastic cups-the same shape as eye patches- over each of my eyes.

"Where's mum?" I asked for a distraction from the pain that hadn't yet subsided.

"Out ringing Phil," his voice was unreadable.

I didn't know what to make of his tone and in this instant it didn't really matter; my eyes were growing more irritated by the second and I imagined the drugs were beginning to wear off.

"Don't worry, Bells," he said misinterpreting my silence, "she'll be back soon."

* * *

Carlisle had been to check on me, administered more seriously needed medication, and left before Renee even returned from her phone call with Phil. She seemed flustered and tired, just like Charlie, but extremely happy that I was awake. When Carlisle visited us that night, he explained that he'd take the bandages off in few days, perhaps a week, to see how well I was healing. He said that nurses may remove the old bandages and redress my eyes with new bandages, but he would most likely be the one to do it.

My eyes were definitely sore. Every now and then I would feel tears, I think, unexpectedly spill out of my closed eyes and fall into the absorptive bandages. There were times where I so badly wanted to rub my eyes to relieve the irritation, but objective hands -Charlie, Renee, Carlisle, the nurses- were always there to bat them away.

I found myself lying awake one night-the sixth to be exact- absently rubbing my fingers over my left eye patch, contemplating sight. It seemed so foreign to me now, after so many years of blindness. I'd been lying like this for hours.

Charlie and Renee had reluctantly gone home to rest, after I persisted, again, that I'd still be here in the morning.

Besides, I believed I wasn't completely alone. I had distinguished breathing apparatus in the bed next to me on the first day I spent conscious. There was also the sound of occasional movement. I didn't know who it was. All I knew was they were the only person sharing a room with me. Their constant, steady gasps of air were loud in the silence and echoed in my head.

Although, I questioned if it was just us in the room when I heard something move.

I sat up slowly.

Another ruffle followed and a small moan from what seemed like a woman. The voice, even though unclear, was unfamiliar.

Moving cautiously, I slid my feet over the side of the bed as if to jump down, but momentarily stopped.

_What if it's just the woman-_a_ woman- in the bed next to me? But I could have sworn it came from the other side of the room..._

I waited there for a moment, my legs dangling freely in the cool air of the night.

There were no unusual sounds after that.

I sighed deeply and lay back in bed, curling up on my side the way I normally slept. Aside from the warmth of the bed my body had earlier supplied, I was surprisingly freezing.

* * *

I hardly slept at all that night. When morning finally came, I was brought breakfast in bed. Renee and Charlie were there with me. Renee helped me to eat and Charlie bragged about how much better his breakfast had been. I laughed off the unnerving feelings within me.

My eyes only ached without medication now, if I didn't try to move them of course. I could definitely feel the healing process day by day.

I remember one day at ten o'clock a nurse arrived and took me and my parents into a secluded room to track my progress. The clattering of a metal tray helped me judge the size of the room when we entered. Five metres in length and four and a half metres width, being my estimation. Carlisle was there waiting for us; he put something down as we entered and welcomed us in, making me feel at home-he seemed to have that effect.

I hated being transported around the hospital in a wheel chair; I didn't know which way we were turning until we were already turning. I had enquired as to whether I could walk, but the nurse was hesitant, not wanting to take any chances.

She steered me into a spot near the centre of the room, supposedly in front of Carlisle who pulled a chair over. The nurse said her farewell before leaving.

"Good morning," Carlisle greeted, as he sat across from me.

We spoke in unison, "Good morning, Carlisle."

"How are you feeling today, Bella?" Carlisle asked, genuinely curious.

"A little nervous, I guess," I admitted.

He put one of his hands on to mine, which were on my lap. "We'll get through this slowly. I'm going to take the bandages off of you." He cautioned, moving his careful and precise hands to my head and started undoing the gauze. "Now very slowly, I'm going to help you open your eyes. If it's too painful, you need to tell me, alright?"

I nod, unable to speak.

When the dressing was gone, his fingertips came to rest lightly on my eyelids, "Ready?"

"Yeah," I said shakily before trying to opening my eyes again. The same feeling as before came rushing back, as if I was opening a healed over wound, but this time the stinging wasn't so excruciating. My eyes were sore now but I was surprised that I can open them slightly and I can see a strip of blurred colours. I gasped and tried opening my eyes quicker.

"Slowly, slowly," Carlisle warned me, as his fingers guided my lids the rest of the way open.

Everything was dark and too blurry to separate objects from one another, but it didn't matter...

I can _see_.

"Bella," Carlisle said, "I want you to tell me how many fingers I'm holding up."

As he spoke a dark object in the faint shape of a hand loomed up two feet away from my face and uncurled itself, outstretching four fingers.

I counted them quickly, twice, "four?"

"Yes," Carlisle praised, "well done."

I watched his silhouette as he moved and reached into the pocket of his lab coat for something. When he holds it up for me to inspect I see that it's long and thin.

"Bella, can you tell me what colour this pen is?"

I look closely at the pen, squinting a little. "Red?"

"Yes, Bella. You're doing really well. Now, I want you to reach and take the pen from me. Can you do that?" He asks, expectant.

I nod slowly, my breath catching in my throat as I raised my right hand and stretched out. I can see the basic shape of the pen, and my hand as I approached it, but when I fisted my hand to grasp the pen there was nothing there but air.

I huff, in confusion and disappointment.

"It's okay, it will come with practice," Carlisle reassured.

I was annoyed at myself for not thinking about it earlier. At least when I was blind I had an excuse about my poor coordination.

I heard a weird whispering sound, to quiet to make out, and looked in the direction it seemed to come from. There was a shadow, an outline of a figure in a long dress that moved towards the wall and then I couldn't see them anymore. They must have gone into the hallway. _I wonder who it was..._

"Bella?" Renee calls from my right side.

I search for her and wince. "It burns a bit."

"Is that natural?" Charlie was disturbed.

"It's completely normal to experience discomfort at first. I'll prescribe you some medication to take, Bella, to help with the pain. Other than that, I think a few more days in the hospital are all you have to endure before you can go home."

It was as if he knew I hated it here. "Can't I go home sooner?"

"Bella," Charlie snapped disapprovingly.

Carlisle chuckled, "well, let me look at your paperwork first. I'll check on you in a couple hours and see what I can do. Do you want me to walk you to your room?"

"I can take them if you want doctor," a nurse enquired, eager for his attention. All I could see of her was a black blob at the other end of the room.

"That's quite alright, Hannah, I have a few minutes to spare." He turned to my parents in his chair, "if you wish me to accompany you back?"

"That would be lovely, doctor," Renee gushed.

Carlisle rose from his chair and behind me. He was steering me away before I could even ask to walk.

"_Carlisle_, mum. He wants you to call him Carlisle." I could imagine he was too polite to say this himself.

"Oh, yes, sorry Carlisle," Renee apologised.

"It's not a problem, Mrs. Dwyer," Carlisle said, characteristically kind.

"Well if I can call you Carlisle then you can call me Renee," she giggled.

Renee and Carlisle laughed lightly as we headed back to my room while Charlie walked beside me, his hands deep in his pockets.

I tried to soak in as much of the distorted world around me: nurses, patients, drugs, IV's, beds, trays of surgery equipment, anxious families, and flowers. It may be an unhappy place but I had a strange feeling of excitement every time I realised what all the hazy objects were.

In little time we were back in my room. Carlisle rolled me next to the bed and helped me up when a knock came at the door.

Charlie opened it and I saw a small figure there. "Hello, is Carlisle here?" A girl's voice rang clear and chirpy through the room.

"Hello, Alice," Carlisle said, a little bewildered. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, but I can come back later if you want." Alice, I remembered, was one of Carlisle's daughters. She's blurry, like everything else, but I thought I could make out her short dark hair bouncing as she took a few steps back out of the room.

"Is something wrong, Alice?"

"It's not a problem right now, but it will be."

Carlisle tensed, unperceivable to my parents; I only knew because he still had a hold of my arm. "If you'll excuse me," he said before quickly leaving the room with Alice leading the way.

Renee jumped up on the bed next to me, "how are you feeling, honey?"

"Alright. How are you both?"

"We're fine, Bells, it's you we're worried about."

"But there's no need to worry, I'm fine and I just want to go home."

They laughed. "Well you might be, soon, Bells," Charlie said.

"I hope so," I said to myself, quietly.

"Can you see us, Bella?" Renee squealed in excitement.

I look at her, "Not really, you're dark and really blurry." I rubbed my eyes softly, they were still stinging.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Charlie asked, from the foot of the bed.

"Yeah, it just stings a little."

"I'll go and get a nurse," Renee exclaimed in worry and was out of the room before I could protest.

Charlie must have seen the look on my face, "She wouldn't have listened. She never does. You know what she's like when she sets her mind to something. You two are very similar. You inherited your stubbornness from your mother."

"Hey! I'm not stubborn," my chin jutted out a fraction as I scowled at him.

"There's exhibit A," he chuckled.

I laughed, "You're right. Then what did I inherit from you?"

"Oh, that's easy, you got my good looks," he joked.

I laughed harder, "Alright dad, you keep telling yourself that."

Renee returns with a nurse, who administers some more drugs into my bloodstream, then leaves soundlessly. Renee hugged me when she was gone, "better, Hon'?"

"Yes," I sighed, "I'm a bit tired though."

"Go to sleep then, Bells," Charlie hushed, stroking my head, "we'll wake you up in a few hours time."

I lay back on the bed and pulled the sheet covering me up to my chin. It took only a minute for me to fall asleep, with Renee and Charlie holding each of my hands.

* * *

Thank you!


	14. Stubborn but insightful

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**_Stubborn but Insightful_**

Carlisle was able to pull some strings and have me released from the hospital three days earlier than previously planned. I was told to sit tight for one more day and then I could leave.

"Stop fidgeting," Charlie scolded me playfully, as I bounced up and down.

"I can't wait to get home," I whispered, as giddy as a child in Disneyland.

I could just make out Renee, raising her mug of tea to her mouth, to cover a smile no doubt. She took a sip before relaxing back in her chair.

My sight was slowly getting clearer, day by day, as Carlisle had explained, even though everything was still a blur. What I didn't prepare for was Renee's constant questions; _can you see me? Am I as you imagined? I haven't aged too much, have I?_ I like how she makes me laugh without trying.

Over time my memory of my parent's faces had slowly deteriorated, but when I concentrated enough until my sight became clearer I found that the memories came flooding back. I remember thinking Renee was always beautiful when I was younger. I regretted to admit that Charlie had been right about where I got my looks from. When I was younger, I was her opposite. When we stood side by side, we contrasted in so many ways. Her eyes were blue, where mine were brown. Her hair blonde, mine brown again. We had the same shaped face, but other than this detail, I resembled Charlie the most. I inherited my brown hair and eyes from him. And also his poor equilibrium.

"What time is it?" I asked impatiently, scouring around the room for the clock.

Renee giggled, "About five minutes after you last asked."

_12:27?_ "When did Carlisle visit this morning?"

"About 10:15," Charlie spoke absently from behind his newspaper.

"Come on guys, stop being anti-social. You need to keep me entertained," I whined.

From what I could make out, it seemed Renee couldn't hold back her smile now, "how?" she said, genuinely amused.

"I don't know," I groaned, "anything." I crossed my arms stubbornly, the way I did when I was young and I wanted something I was told I couldn't have.

Charlie leaned in close to whisper in my ear, "stubborn. Exhibit B." The words were hard to hear around his chuckling.

I swung my arm out, aiming to hit him jokingly on the shoulder but missed completely, making him chortle louder.

"Alright, I'd rather you went back to being anti-social," I said, weakly wounded because I knew that if I weren't so irritated I'd be laughing too. I also knew that laughing was Charlie's defence mechanism- he doesn't want to think too seriously about the situation at hand.

"Let's play a game then," Renee diverted our attention, setting her mug to the side on a nearby table.

I sighed in exasperation, _now she agrees, _"Like what?"

She thought for a moment, "eye spy?"

I frowned at her, "I can't see _that_ well."

"Twenty questions?" she suggested.

I shrugged, unable to think of anything else. "Okay, you start."

She stared into space for a moment, deep in thought, "I'm ready."

"Is it a person?" I asked, not completely interested.

"Yes," Renee said. "Charlie?"

Charlie huffed and sounded even more bored than I did, "male?"

"Yes."

"Is he famous?"

Renee cocked her head to the side, slightly flushed, "no, not particularly."

Charlie folded up his paper in defeat and leaned forward. "Do we know him?"

"Yes," she said a little excited. _We're close_.

I found myself tapping my finger on my bottom lip, "Have we known him long?"

"No."

I thought I saw Charlie's eyes narrow, scrutinizing her expression, "does he work in a hospital?"

Renee flushed a deeper pink, "yes."

I caught Charlie's brown-eyed gaze and knew he was thinking exactly what I was. "Do you have..._feelings_ for this man that works in a hospital?" I asked innocently.

Renee's face changed in an instant. She scowled at both of us, unimpressed. "I'm not playing anymore," she grumbled, like a little girl.

As if on cue, Dr Cullen strolled into the room, staring intently at a clipboard in his hands. I couldn't hold back my small intake of breath as I had the first time I could make him out. I could hardly blame my mother, he was very handsome. His blonde hair, golden eyes and flawlessly pale skin was nearly overwhelming. However, the juxtaposition I saw forming between everyone- doctors, nurses, visitors, my parents- compared to him was becoming blatantly obvious. Carlisle Cullen looked more like a Hollywood actor than a real doctor.

I was pulled from my reverie by seeing Renee shift uncomfortably in her seat at Carlisle's entrance. Without a second's hesitation, she snatched the newspaper Charlie had retrieved and hid behind it, pretending to read.

"Morning Carlisle," Charlie grumbled, still mythed by the absence of his paper.

"Good morning, Mr. Swan," Carlisle said politely, pulling up a spare chair. "Bella," he nodded to me as he sat down. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good, thank you," I smiled mischievously, "my mum's been very entertaining."

Charlie's face matched mine as I heard the sides of the newspaper curl into Renee's fisted hands.

"I'm glad to hear you're alright," Carlisle frowned slightly, in bewilderment, I think-it's hard to tell.

"How are you today, Carlisle?" I asked.

"I'm well, thank you, Bella. How is your sight coming along?"

"Better," I answered. "Everything is getting much clearer."

He smiled at me and I could see in his eyes that he had good news. "I have the paperwork here for your release," he says, waving the clipboard like a flag. "Just a few more things need filling in and then you're free to leave."

I beamed at him, overly happy.

Carlisle moved to my parents and asked them a few hushed questions. Minutes later the form was filled and Carlisle directed us to the reception. He let me walk this time, but Renee and Charlie didn't dare let go of my hands.

When we got there I saw a familiar small figure, only this time she was more distinct. Alice was leaning over the reception desk talking animatedly to the receptionist. She was wearing a bright, vibrant dress that seemed to hug her petite frame. Her appearance made me frown; _a dress in forks?_ And even more importantly, _are all the Cullen's this breathtakingly beautiful?_

Alice turned then and called, "Edward," waving him over. It took a second for my eyes to adjust to the bright light from outside, and then I saw him.

_Oh my..._

Edward. Edward from _school_? Edward _Cullen?_ A memory of a sweet voice in biology came rushing back to me, _"Hello. My name is Edward Cullen.._." _That_ Edward? This golden haired Greek god was the boy that ignored me, disappeared for weeks and then acted as if nothing had happened? My head was spinning.

I could definitely see the resemblance between Alice and Edward; the pale skin, the bright gold eyes. I wished he weren't so handsome, it makes it harder to dislike him and his split personalities.

Out of the blue though, I also recalled Jessica's vague descriptions of the Cullen's. The memory made me laugh- her description didn't do them justice.

"Bella?" Renee tugged on my arm, pulling me back to my body. I realised my mouth was slack from gawking at Edward's perfection and I closed it quickly.

"Yeah?" My voice was thick, but with what? I couldn't place it.

"What's so funny?" she asked, her eyebrows knotted together.

My eyes widen as I registered my outburst, "I just remembered something funny."

She frowned at me and my mouth twitched up again. _She thinks I'm thinking about her and twenty questions_. Good.

"Come on," I heard Alice command incredibly quiet into Edward's ear while dragging him by his hand. "Carlisle," she exclaimed when they reached us.

"Charlie, Renee, Bella, this is Alice and Edward. My children," Carlisle indicated to them in turn, explaining to my parents more than to me.

"It's nice to meet you," Alice smiled sweetly at them and I wondered if there was anyone that couldn't fall for her charm. I gave her a kind smile when she looked at me.

Edward stood awkwardly and impossibly still, "hello."

Renee greeted them with as much passion as Alice had, whereas Charlie followed Edward's suit. I just shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and waited.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to you, Bella, until now," Alice said, ignoring Edward's pointed look.

"It's nice to meet you, Alice," I said, a little uncomfortably. "And I hope we can get to know each other better," I added in the attempt to sound as friendly as she had.

"I hope that too," she grinned sweetly.

There was a painfully long silence, until Carlisle said, "Alice, Edward, are you here to see me?"

"Why else would we be here," Alice laughed, Edward was unresponsive.

"It was very nice meeting you both and I'm sorry but I think we should be taking Bella home now," Charlie said gruffly, speaking with his chief of police tone.

"Of course, Sir," Edward said.

"I'm alright, Dad," I heard myself say in defence; though I was looking for any escape I could at the moment.

Thankfully Charlie wasn't having any of it. "I thought you wanted to go home?"

"I do," I rebuffed. He raised one of his eyebrows at me, questionably. _What made me want to stay all of a sudden?_ I sighed, but repeated "I'm alright" for emphasis.

Charlie leant away from me to whisper a conversation to Carlisle. I tried to catch it but at that moment everything went very blurry, then clearer, then blurry again, bringing with it the pounding of blood in my ears and an ache in my head. With the beating in my head also came exhaustion, a heavy, intangible wave hanging over me forcing me downwards. My vision flashed like this several times before everything went black, taking the strength in my legs to fight back. I slumped forward and pair of strong hands caught me before I hit the ground.

I heard my name called from many different voices. I felt cold hands on my head, my arms, my wrists. Slowly, the darkness receded and my eyes focused to see five anxious faces floating above me.

Carlisle's voice broke through first, "Bella, what happened?"

"I don't know," I said in bewilderment around my rapid breathing. "My head hurt and I couldn't see anything."

Carlisle frowned, "Maybe you should stay here in the hospital for-"

"No," I protested, "I'm fine, really." I struggled to get to my feet but arms were restraining me. I turned to see whose and found Edward's face inches from mine.

"Bella," Carlisle urged, calling my attention back before I fainted again, swooning over Edward's annoying perfection.

"Please, Carlisle, I want to go home." _And I want to get up_, if I don't now then I won't want to. As if hearing my thoughts, Edward rose, too easily with me in his arms, and placed me gently on my feet. I thanked him and he nodded in reply, his eyes abruptly dark.

Carlisle seemed to be having an inner struggle. Charlie and Renee kept quiet, knowing too well that they couldn't win this fight. Eventually Carlisle huffed in defeat, "As long as you promise to call us if anything like this happens again," he said, with the plural of the hospital again.

"I promise," I told him.

Carlisle passed the paperwork over the counter to the receptionist who batted her eyelashes at him. He took no notice, or if he did, he hid it well. He turned back to us, sliding his pen back into the pocket of his lab coat. "Watch out for unintentional weeping, pussing or any signs of infection," he said over my shoulder to my parents, as if I weren't there. "These aren't very common but it's best to be safe." Carlisle passes them a leaflet with additional information.

I purposely blanked out the rest of their conversation; I couldn't bear to hear another word. Instead I stared intently down at my hands, familiarising myself with them and trying to find the minuscule changes that had happened over the last few years.

Charlie broke me out of my investigation by announcing our departure. We said our goodbyes to the Cullen's and left. I didn't cast a glance back at the family waving us off, as much as I wish I could.

It was too bright to see much outside. In the police cruiser, I fastened my seat-belt with some difficultly, having to wave my mother off, saying "I can do it." And I did, eventually.

As Charlie pulled away from the hospital, I couldn't help myself from searching for familiar shapes outside. Some objects were easy to distinguish- mostly trees and traffic lights- but everything else was too blurry to comprehend.

I knew instantly when we arrived. It's unbelievable to think that after all these years the house has hardly changed; the paint had worn away with the unrelenting rain and the small spruce that Renee and I had planted was now a tree, standing proudly, and eight feet in height. I climbed out of the car and walked straight to it, half aware of Renee rambling about her excitement of all things we can do together now. As I placed my hand on the bark of the tree I felt Renee's presence behind me. "Is this the same tree?"

Renee's arms snake around my waist, "yes, it is, honey," she said, lost in the memory like me.

I looked back at Charlie, who stood holding my duffel bag, waiting for us to go inside. I laughed, "If I'm this fascinated by a tree, I dread to think what will happen when we go in," I said, pointing to our home.

Renee smiled at me, "Come on, darling." She kissed my forehead and not releasing me, steered me inside.

* * *

Thank you for reading!


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